


Secrets Kept/Secrets Told

by sanva



Series: Life Mates [3]
Category: Real Person Fiction, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bonding, Community: spn_j2_bigbang, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Rating: NC17, Religious Themes & References, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:05:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanva/pseuds/sanva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Secrets wear on you all the time, slowly building stress until eventually something has to break.  Jared and Jensen live in a world where their entire relationship is considered impossible--members of the same sex don't mate with each other according to the Church and the government--and they hide in plain sight.  Working within the underground community of same-sex pairs, Jared comes up with an idea and presents it to a friend who decides to roll with it . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to [The Word of Us](http://archiveofourown.org/works/185381) I suggest you read it before this one.
> 
> Artist: bumerbmw [Art Post](http://bumerbmw.livejournal.com/9363.html)
> 
> Beta: R. Thanks so much for the last minute beta! You rock . . . and thanks for betaing RPS, which you normally avoid! *hugs* If it weren't for you I'd have a *major* plot hole do it a missing scene I *swore* I'd written!
> 
> NOTE: I have not been able to post this to the bigbang community, but since LJ is intermittent for me right now I hope it will let me soon. I also haven't posted this on my livejournal account yet either, for the same reason. It will be in both places as soon as possible!
> 
>  
> 
> I apologize for any HTML in regards to indents and spacing around some words. I am trying to fix the HTML, but what I had ready for the other places I'd planned to post first isn't translating all that well for some reason.
> 
> This is a sequel to the first fic in the Life Mates series, The Word of Us. It takes place third within the timeline, but has next to nothing to do with the second fic (which will be posted in Fall 2011) as they are in different fandoms.
> 
> My original plans for this fic involved exploring the world and going in depth into the political structure and how things would be changing . . . that didn't work out and this is a character driven story that focuses on how things in their life post Jared's graduation from college affect them and their relationships with friends and family. I do apologize for the lack of sex when compared to The Word of Us. There were very few places where it felt right to show the physical part of their relationship due to the nature of the events going on around them. I just figured if I wouldn't be in the mood, they probably wouldn't be either. To make up for that I'll be posting a time stamp in a few days involving their ten year mating anniversary . . .
> 
> I hope you enjoy the fic, it certainly gave me issues. While I personally don't think it's as good as it's predecessor, I do hope it is entertaining and you'll enjoy the peak into their lives post college.

  
[   
](http://s557.photobucket.com/albums/ss13/bumerbmw1/big%20bang/?action=view&current=mates.gif)   


>   
> _Sometimes there are secrets that need to be kept for the good of the many.  
>  Sometimes secrets are kept because they could change the world forever.  
> Sometimes secrets are kept that could change the world for the better._   
> 

  


> Anonymous, circulated on the popular social networking site LifeCircles days before the reveal. 

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

The sound of clapping and cheering reverberated around the large indoor coliseum. Leaning forward, Jensen rested one elbow on his knees and leaned his chin on the palm of his hand. He was tired and the lighting and overall feel of the building wasn't conducive to staying awake. It was selfish of him, but he really wished that Jared's graduation had been slated for Saturday morning instead of Friday evening.

The timing couldn't be helped, though, and neither could his lack of sleep. The past week had been extremely difficult and draining for him at work. Not only had there been an influx of new patients into the clinic, but his end of the year apprenticeship exams had taken up almost all of his time for the past three weeks. Coincidently, during that time period he hadn't received more than a quick hand job in the show or early morning. Some days he barely even saw his mate outside of the few hours they slept next to each other.

"Hey." A poke to the temple had him opening his eyes and turning to face Jared's little sister. She was frowning at him, a worried look on her face. "You all right?" Megan asked, chewing on her lip.

He smiled and nodded, fingers splaying out against his cheek. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired . . . it's been a long week."

"Apprenticeship exams?" She asked, head tilting. Her curly hair fell across her face, obscuring her eyes before she brushed it away, tucking it behind her ear.

"Yep."

"Jared told me that they're worse than his final exams." She made a face, wrinkling her nose up. "Worse than college exams, even!"

" _Way_ worse." Jensen laughed and glanced down towards the floor where another row of graduates were standing to make their way up to accept their diplomas.

It was easy for him to spot Jared, still about five rows away from it being his turn to stand. Sandy had helped him decorate the top of his hat with a shiny "J", subtly shadowed by another 'J' that could easily be mistaken to help it be seen.

"Would taking graduate classes be easier?" Megan asked, lip caught between her teeth. She'd been talking on and off about going into architecture and that was a popular occupation for apprenticeships.

"Sorry, where is he again? I didn't miss his name, did I?"

Jensen glanced over at Leah, his technical sister-in-law—in spirit if not by law—who was just sitting down again. Since the start of the ceremony she'd probably been to the restroom at least five times, if not more. She was seven months pregnant with her first child, a son, and her presence at Jared's graduation had been a pleasant surprise. Jeff had taken a few extra days off in order to drive her and Megan while Jared's parents flew.

"He's four rows back from the empty seats on the left side," Megan pointed as she spoke, "and he's three seats from the inside."

"Right. The sparkly 'J'," Leah giggled and took a water bottle from her mate. She leaned back in her seat and took a sip. "I see him now. How could I forget that hat?"

Jeff pressed his lips together and shared a glance with Jensen and his sister before looking down at the program he'd been browsing.

"Don't you think now would be a good time to line up all the singles and have them meet each other . . . just in case?" Jared's Mama spoke up, turning to her husband.

Jensen winced at bit back the caustic response that popped into his mind. He liked Sharon, really. She was a nice woman when she wasn't focused on mating Jared off to some perky blond or bubbly brunette girl.

"Sharon—"

Closing his eyes for brief moment, Jensen sighed and turned towards them. "They did that a few months ago." He sent an apologetic smile towards Gerry, who he'd interrupted. "They wanted to be sure no one on the floor would start a mating fever. None of the people working down there or in the stadium are unmated either."

"Good planning." Jeff smiled. "At my college graduation a pair met in line. Somehow they'd been studying the same major, but hadn't overlapped in any classes. It was a really odd coincidence. What do they do if family member or friends meet in the stadium?" He waved one hand around the building at large.

"They have a few rooms set up in various places in the building to herd them to, I think." Leah answered for him as she reached over to steal a nacho from Megan. "I saw a door marked for mating fever near the restrooms."

"Did anyone meet this year?" Megan asked, moving her chis away from Leah's reach.

"I think they had three pairs meet this year," Jensen said, turning his attention back towards his mate. Jared was nervous and excited at this same time and the feelings were thrumming to him across their bond. He watched as his mate turned to look up at him—them. It had been extremely easy for Jared to locate him (them) due to their mating bond.  
"Well," Sharon sighed, "I hope they did the same with the entire student body." She glanced down at her own program, eyes moving over the lists of names and majors. "It would be a shame if someone moved away only to meet their mate down the road only to find out they had gone to the same school and just never met."

"Sharon." Gerry said, his voice had a hint of warning that startled Jensen.

She mumbled something and pursed her lips. "I still don't see why—"

"Mom!" Megan interrupted her. "Jared's row is next and I think people are trying to hear."

Jensen tuned out the conversation as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced down at the screen.

 

>  **Jared Padalecki**  
>  My turn! Are you watching? ♥ 

 

Jensen smiled and tapped out a quick reply.

>  **Jensen Ackles**  
>  I'm proud of you! Better smile! :) Your Dad has his camera zoomed and ready!

Slipping the phone back into his pocket, he counted the people in front of Jared as they slowly made their way to the photo area. It seemed like it was just yesterday that he was graduating himself. Just two years ago Jared had been sitting up in the stands with Jensen's family and their friends, cheering him on. There had been some rather impressive noise made when his name was called. Jensen only wished more of their friends could have made it to Jared's graduation. As it was the only ones present were down on the floor with Jared, about to graduate themselves.

There wasn't anything he could do about that now, though. His fingers tapped idly against his knee as Megan grabbed his forearm excitedly, pointing down at Jared with her other hand.

She glanced back at Jeff and Leah. "He's next!" she paused for moment, "Well, almost next. Three—now two names from now!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen could see Gerald taking pictures as Jared moved closer white tape 'x' he'd pause at just before his name would be called. Jared was bubbling with excitement and it was causing Jensen's arms to break out in goose bumps. The feeling was so stark across their bond that it almost felt like they were Jensen's feelings. It had been a long time since the last time—outside of sex—their feelings were so indistinguishable.

 **"Jared Padalecki."**

Finally his name was called and Jensen let out an impressive 'whoop' as the rest of the family cheered around him. Megan's shrill screech of, "Go Jared!" with an extra squeal for effect left his ears ringing. Then Jared was shaking hands with various faculty members, administrators, and several other people associated with the University and another name was being called.

Settling back into his chair, Jensen relaxed and let all of his feelings of pride and love for Jared fill the younger man's awareness of him. Today was a good day, even if there was an undertone of stress to it. Stress that was caused by Jared's parents—who had no idea they were mated—presence.

"Who's next?" Meagan glanced over at him. She had visited them a half dozen times in California over the past four years and had gotten to know quite a few of their friends, especially those closer to Jared's age. Even though she was aware Kris and Adam were mated to each other, she still had a mini crush on them. Sandy and she had also gotten along quite well and Megan practically worshiped her; going so far as to emulate her fashion sense, even if their body types were entirely different and things didn't always look quite right.

"Well." Leah groaned. "I think I may need to visit the restroom again. I swear I am going to put this boy into ballet classes as soon as I can if he continues dancing on my bladder."

"Karate." Jeff corrected her quickly, with a look on his face that reminded Jensen distinctly of when Jared was trying to hold back distaste or dislike for an idea or comment—or even Sandy's last attempt at baking.

"I had a male ballet dancer in PT last month," Jensen said, a smile quirking the edge of his lips. "It's really not a bad profession, although it is highly competitive. It also does cause a lot of strain on your body, especially the feet."

"Whereas training to beat someone up is oh so much better?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

"Hey, Dad?" Megan spoke up, looking over the back of her chair at him.

"Yes, Megan?"

"Could I go get something to drink? There's still a ton of people left in line."

"Why don't you come with me, Megan?" Leah suggested as she stood. "We can get some soda on the way back."

"All right." Gerald reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet."

"Don't worry about it Gerry." Leah waved him off, patting her purse. "I've got some cash and I know you plan on buying dinner like always, anyway."

Jensen settled back again after they left, eyes on the top of Jared's head, noting the changed placement of the tassel. He could feel the grin widening on his lips, showing off his pride. Jared was chatting avidly with his neighbors, hands moving excitedly. He wondered what they were talking about.

"—four years out here and nothing. It's just difficult to fathom."

"Mama," Jeff started as Jensen tuned back into the conversation. "Not everyone gets mated in college. Jared's not even twenty-three yet. There's still a large part of his age group that have yet to find someone."

"There are cruises and events that would—"

"That most people won't go on until they are hitting thirty." Jeff sighed and tapped his program against his leg, clearly irritated. "Besides when he chooses to go to any program or party is up to Jared."

Sharon pursed her lips and turned to her husband who was looking down at the digital screen on his camera, examining the photos he'd taken. Jeff glanced down at Jensen and met his eyes.

Mouthing his thanks, Jensen smiled sheepishly and got a raised eyebrow in return. Clearing his throat, he spoke up, "Jared and I actually talked about that a while back. He wants to get settled into work and post college life before he starts thinking about actively searching. He believes that it'll happen on God's time, so there is no reason for him to search meet and greets until the pool slims down more in a few years. That is, if he hasn't found his mate by then."

"What about you, Jensen?" Sharon asked after a few moments, throwing him for a second. She rarely turned the discussion towards him.

"I—I agree with Jared." he finally said. "That and I really don't have the time to go to extra events at the moment."

"How is your apprenticeship going?" Gerald asked, setting the camera down on the seat next to him.

Jensen blinked, surprised at the question. "It's going fine. I'm about a year away from the Masters equivalent exam and another couple or so after that I'll take the PHD equivalent."

He nodded. "How do you think you did on your year-end exams? Jared said you were taking them this past week."

"I did." Jensen ducked his head a little and rubbed the back of his neck. "I think I did all right, at least on the practical. I was pretty confident about the written portion . . . but you never know."

"Sounds like you're doing well for yourself."

Jensen looked up and met his eyes. Gerald was smiling and there was a look on his face as if . . . He blinked and grinned. "I'm doing all right."

 

  
**Jared**   


 

"Jared!"

He turned in time to catch Sandy as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. She was full foot shorter than him, so the move was a bit comical. Her legs ended up wrapped around his things instead of his hips and he barely managed to grab her.

She grinned up at him, smiling widely, before letting him set her back down on her feet. "We are done!"

"Congratulations, Sandy." Jared said, smiling at her. "Where's Thomas?"

"On his way with Kris, Adam, and Chad." She turned back to the crowd and smiled wider when she caught site of her mate and their other friends.

"I think I could get lost in your robe," Chad stated as they finally reached them. "Maybe even suffocate."

"You said that about Adam's, too." Kris raised an eyebrow at his former roommate.

Chad just shrugged and rocked back on his heels. "I only speak the truth."

Sandy giggled a little and hopped a few steps over to her mate in order to she could claim a kiss from his mouth. Thomas smiled down at her and ran a hand through her long hair.

Jared couldn't help the pang of jealousy their openly displayed affection shot through him. From the look on Adam's face, he could tell the other man felt the exact same way.

"So, where are you guys headed now?" Adam asked, tearing his gaze away from the pair. "Any parties I didn't get invited to?"

"Hell, yeah." Chad grinned, nodding. "I can totally hook you guys up with the party of the year."

"Why am I skeptical?" Sandy rolled her eyes and leaned into Thomas.

"Probably because the last so-called party Chad took us to Adam made us do karaoke while sober, because—"

"Hey!" Chad interrupted Kris. "Totally not my fault!"

"I've got to eat with my dinner with my family. There around here somewhere with Jensen . . ." Jared spoke up, interrupting his friends. He trailed off as his phone buzzed in his pocket. "That's probably them." He flipped his phone out of his pocket, wrestling with his graduation robe as he snagged it.

 

>  **Jensen Ackles**  
>  Where are you?

"Oh!" Sandy turned to him, arm still wrapped around Thomas' waist. "See if someone will take a group picture for us."

"Didn't you get enough pictures before graduation?" Thomas groaned.

>  **Jared Padalecki**  
>  At the SE entrance near the cherry tree. Sandy wants some pics. Be our Cameraman? :) 

 

Sandy rolled her eyes. "No. I didn't get any of all of us together," she waved her hand between them, "in our snazy outfits."

"Snazy?" Kris raised an eyebrow and looked up at his mate. Adam grinned back at him and fingered his bejewelled cap, inciting an eye roll.

>  **Jensen Ackles**  
>  Sure. I'll BRT! ♥ 

 

"We've graduated! Met another life milestone!" Sandy turned to glare at him. "We—fine I—need a picture to commemorate this event."

"Because it's just _amazing_ that Chad managed it?" Jensen teased as he appeared out of the crowd.

"Hey!"

"Jensen!" Jared grinned at his mate, wishing he could greet him like Sandy had greeted Thomas.

"Hey," Jensen smiled back, "apparently I've been asked to play cameraman?" He lifted up Jared's Dad's camera. "I'm no professional, but I think I can manage it. Where do you want to do this?"

"Right here, right _now_ sounds good to me." Adam winked at him.

"By the tree!" Sandy said and began ushering everyone into position.

Jared took her preoccupation with the others positioning to sidle up to his mate. He brushed his arm against Jensen's and smiled own at him.

"Jared! Get over here!" Sandy's voice cut into the moment and Jared bumped their shoulder's together before jogging over to get in the picture.

By the time Jensen was done snapping half a dozen pictures with a variety of poses, Jared's family had finally caught up with him. His mother met him with a hug and a huge smile, wrapping her arms around him.

"Hey Mama." He returned the hug, doing his best and succeeding in lifting her off the ground by at least an inch or two.

"I'm so proud of you, honey." She smiled up at him, eyes shining.

A flash surprised her and they turned to face Jensen who was grinning, the camera tilted away from his face so he could look at them around it. "Why don't you two pose and then we can get some other family photos?" he asked, motioning with his free hand.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Gerald agreed, moving towards him.

"Nuh uh." Jensen shook his head, stepping back and tightening his grip on the camera with a grin. "Family photos time. You'll be in the next one."

"Jensen's great with a camera," Jared assured his Dad, "even if he won't admit it. He's been taking pictures at Kane's shows lately."

"Hey, Jensen, you need a ride?" Adam asked as during the next shuffle of people in front of the camera. They'd moved quickly through them to include Jeff, his wife, and Megan.

Jared tenses a little at the question, smile faltering. While Jensen had gotten a ride with his family to the graduation, he wouldn't be joining them for dinner. It hurt that his mate couldn't be there, but it was a family dinner and his Mam, who had made the reservations, hadn't reserved a seat for Jensen. Jeff had apologized and even asked if they wanted him to call the restaurant and see if they could get another seat added last minute, but in the end they had told him not to. As hard as being apart was, sometimes it was actually easier than being so close and having to maintain an act.

"Could you drop me off at Jason's?"

"He's over on South Robinson Avenue, right?"

Jared smiled again, wrapping his arms around his parents as the next photo was taken.

"Yep," Jensen replied, snapping a second of the pose before pausing to review the picture on the little view screen.

"That's not too far out of our way," Kris said. "But we should probably be going if we want to get out of here any time soon."

"Right." Jensen held the camera out and Jared rushed to snag it before his Dad could.

"Thanks again, Jensen." Jared smiled at him as he took the camera. His skin buzzed where their fingers brushed. They probably wouldn't see each other until late, if not the next morning. It all depended on whether Jensen ended up crashing at Jason's or not. Considering he'd probably end up getting drunk with his friends, the likelihood was rather high.

"No problem." Jensen stepped back and slid his hands into his pockets. "Congrats again, man. I'll see you later?"

"You going out with Chris and Steve tonight?"

Jensen's lips twisted as he thought about it. "Doubt it. We'll probably just jam at Jason's."

"Get one of the girls to drive you home if you're drunk. I don't want to hear about Chris getting in another accident." Jared's eyes narrowed a little.

"You do know he wasn't actually drunk, right?"

"It was close enough." Jared sighed. "Be careful," he murmured, looking at his mate from beneath shaggy bangs."

"Always am."

"Jensen," Gerald spoke up, walking towards them, "hold up. I want to get a picture of you with Jared."

"Oh," Jensen shared a slightly startled look with his mate. "Okay?"

"You have been rather instrumental in this; after all you've been an excellent roommate for my son." Gerald took the camera from Jared and stepped back. "You somehow managed to keep him out of trouble for four years. Even Leah couldn't keep Jeff out of trouble completely."

If they leaned a little too close while posing, Gerald didn't say anything and no one else was paying enough attention to them to really notice.

After the photo was taken, Jared watched as Jensen walked off with Kris and Adam, noting how easy it was for touchy-feely Adam to sling an arm over Kris' shoulders. If only his parents hadn't been there, Jared would probably be walking the same way with Jensen. Their presence just served to increase their paranoia. Elisabeth had just lectured him earlier that week to 'act normal' in front of them, but it was hard to when what felt normal to him wasn't what was perceived as normal to the majority of the population.

"You ready to go, kid?" Jeff's voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah." Jared nodded as his sister snagged his arm, slipping her own through his and interlocking their elbows.

"Sorry," she murmured, her voice barely audible to his ears. He smiled back at her, reassuring her he was all right.

"We better get going if we want to make it through this crowd and get to the restaurant in time," his mother pointed out.

"So," Jared glanced around, trying to decide the best way to go. "Where did you guys end up parking?"

  
**Jared**   


 

The restaurant was a really nice one. Jared was almost surprised that his parents booked it, but then it was one of the places that often held meet and greet events for upper middle class singles. It had probably been a recommendation from one of the women at his mother's Church group.

The waiter was a college age young man, who Jared thought he recognized from one of his classes, but he wasn't entirely sure. He smiled his thanks when his drink was served and ended up ordering a steak entre.

"So, Jared, what do you plan on doing now?" Jeff asked as the waiter walked away. "You haven't made any last minute life altering decisions, have you?" He was grinning and his voice had a teasing quality to it.

"Nope, nothing really different then I'm doing now. I'll just be doing more of it and not going to school. I did mention that Nimoy & Shatner offered me a job," he replied, fiddling with his silver ware. There was an extra fork that he guessed was for salad or the appetizer his mother had ordered.

"Oh, honey, did you apply for any jobs in Texas?" his mother was frowning at him. It wasn't something he hadn't expected. "I told you there were a few firms in the San Antonio and Dallas areas that were hiring. I sent you links to their websites online."

Jared nodded, holding back a sigh. "I did, but the salary from Nimoy & Shatner is pretty good. I won't be starting at an entry level position like I would be in Texas, because I've been working with them for almost four years now."

"Does that mean you could buy me a car?" Megan interjected, grinning teasingly.

"Once I have a bit of savings I plan on buying a newer truck." He elbowed her playfully. "Then it'll be your turn with Ol'Blue."

"But Ol'Blue is _old!_ "

"Your brother's both made due with her." Gerald smiled at his daughter. "I'm sure she'll work just fine for you as well."

"How much time do you have before you have to let them know?" Sharon turned the conversation back to his employment.

Jared shared a quick look with his brother before speaking. "I already signed a contract with them, Mama," he said and wrapped a hand around his water class. There was condensation on the outside of the glass and he used one finger to make a small frownie face that he pointed towards his sister. She couldn't completely muffle her giggle. "I really, really like working with them and its good experience."

Sharon frowned at him. "I thought you wanted to come back to Texas."

"Maybe in a few years." He shrugged noncommittally. In reality, he and Jensen did want to move back to Texas eventually, it was home after all. "After I get some more experience under my belt." He wasn't about to tell her that he'd already discussed transferring to a Texas branch of Nimoy & Shatner after Jensen completed his apprenticeship. That was a few years away yet and the time it'd take would give him the experience that he'd need to have a better position in the Texas firm. "Then I won't have to work from the ground up like I would now."

"Are you going to be sharing an apartment with Jensen still?" his Dad asked before his mother could speak up.

Jared nodded and turned his attention to his glass again. "Yeah. We don't really see a reason not to unless one of us mates. It'll save money on rent and the rest of the bills."

"It's nice that you have a single friend to live with." Leah spoke up, fiddling idly with her napkin.

"It is," Jared agreed, glancing over at her. "With our schedules, though, we hardly seem to catch each other these days. It's almost like living alone anyway."

"His apprenticeship is keeping him pretty busy then?" Gerald asked and Jared glanced at his father. He'd been rather interested in what was going on with Jensen lately and Jared wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Lately it has." Jared said, nodding. "I think it's mostly due to the end of year exams, though. His boss has really high expectations. But Jensen's doing well, really well."

"Good." Gerald nodded and took a long drink of water. "It sounds like he's making something of himself. You both are."

"My little brother, all growed up!" Jeff crowed in a sing song voice and reached across the table to ruffle a startled Jared's hair while their mother protested.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

Dinner went by rather quickly and amazingly without too many awkward moments. Afterwards, as the waiter dropped off the bill, Jeff snagged it before their Dad could.

"I thought I was getting dinner." Gerald raised an eyebrow at his son.

"You got dinner all our lives," Jeff placed his card on in the little black book and filled out the receipt. "I'll take care of this." He leaned over and kissed Leah's cheek before standing and heading to the front to pay as his mate, Megan, and Sharon stood.

"We're going to head to the ladies room before we leave." Megan slipped an arm through Leah's. "Are you coming, too, Mama?"

"I probably should." Sharon nodded and kissed her husband on the cheek before following them.

"Let's head to the car," his Dad said after they were gone. He laid a hand on Jared's shoulder and nodded towards the exit.

"Okay," Jared blinked and frowned, pushing away from the table. Standing, he followed his Dad quickly and quietly through the restaurant.

There wasn't anyone else out in the parking lot and the sky was just beginning to pink with tinges of sunset. About halfway to the car, his dad stopped to wait for him to fall in step.

"You're waiting until Jensen's apprenticeship is over to go back to Texas." It was more of a statement then a question, but it still had Jared freezing on the inside.

He swallowed hard and was barely able to get out a, "Yeah."

His Dad sighed and stopped him with an arm on his. "Jared, I'm not dumb and I'm not your mother."

Jared looked at him, apprehension clear on his face. "I never thought you were."

"You know what I mean, son." Gerald gave him a small, sad smile and motioned for them to continue walking the short distance to the car. "I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell me."

"Tell you—you know?" Jared paled, but followed his Dad.

"Jared, I'm your father and I was young once." Gerald gave him a pointed look. "I've witnessed young pairs before. Hell, I was part of a young pair once." He settled a hand on Jared's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was—" Jared paused and leaned against the side of the car as they reached it. "I was worried. I knew Mama wouldn't . . . wouldn't understand. You know how she is."

"Obsessed with familial image and her Church social groups?" Gerald chucked, glancing down at the keys in his hand. "I am mated to her and have been since we were younger than you. I know how she is."

"That's why, I guess." Jared said, shrugging. "She's always . . . pushed the issue of mating and me going to parties and other events to meet girls."

"I know," his Dad sighed in a very put upon manner, "I did manage to tone her down a bit over the last few years, believe it or not."

Jared blinked and looked up at him, surprised. "Really."

"Really." He nodded. "Running interference was practically a full time job. I'm surprised she didn't figure out what I was doing."

Jared laughed a little and they stood in silence for a few moments. "So you aren't mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be _mad?_ "

"I don't know," Jared shrugged and then looked up at his Dad through his bangs. "Maybe because my mate is a guy?"

"Jared, no one can control who they end up with," his father quirked a wry grin at him. "Believe it or not your mother and I didn't exactly run in the same crowds growing up. But no matter who you end up with it's a blessing from God. I may not have expected your mother, but no matter her quirks she is a wonderful woman and has brightened my life. If it weren't for her I would be an entirely different person."

"And I wouldn't even be a person." Jared couldn't stop the joke before he said it.

"I guess not." Gerald laughed, smile widening. "But, son, I'm proud of you and I think Jensen is a fine young man and an excellent, if unorthodox, mate for you."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you're not completely freaked out about the fact I'm mated to a guy?" Jared asked, biting his lip. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that his Dad knew. He had hated not being able to fully share his life with him.

Gerald tilted his head towards his son, eyebrow raised. He finally spoke just as Jeff and the girls finally exited the restaurant, effectively ending the line of conversation.

"I was in the army for a few years before I met your mother while on leave when I snuck off the base." Jared tended to forget his Dad was actually a few years older than his Mama. "No one asks, no one tells, everyone knows, and everyone turns a blind eye to two men sharing quarters, a house, or a tent."

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

"Thanks for the ride!" Jensen tapped the hood of Kris' car and then stepped onto the curb, watching as the two younger men drove off.

Jason and Adrianne had moved into a starter home about six months ago as they were financially secure enough to start thinking about investing in the future. Both had great full time jobs with benefits, although Adrianne's was better paying, and were actually starting to think about having kids. Jensen knew without a doubt that they would make wonderful parents.

In his time off Jason was playing guitar and singing in Chris' band, Kane, and trying to work on his own songs. It wasn't a perfect life, in fact it was so busy that Jensen didn't envy his friend, but it worked for them and a few people in the right places in the local music business had started taking note of them.

There was only one car in the drive, Jason's, which probably meant he had just gotten off work. The yard was tidy, mowed, but there was nothing that made it stand out from the other homes on the block. There was even an American flag placed in a holder attached to one of the columns on the porch.

Jensen had barely managed to knock before the door opened and a tired, but smiling, Jason met him on the other side. "You look beat."

"It was a long day." Jason opened the door and let him in. "How was graduation?"

"It went well," Jensen sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Jared is going to some fancy place for dinner with his family right now."

"And you weren't invited?"

He shook his head. "His mother made the arrangements and didn't think about inviting _the roommate_ along. I don't think she likes me much. Jeff, Jared's brother, volunteered to get another seat added to the reservation, but we told him not to."

"Why'd you do that?" Jason asked, motioning for him to come in.

"We didn't want to have to keep the act up the entire dinner." Jensen stepped inside and shut the door. "It's much easier this way."

"That sucks, man." Jason led the way into the kitchen. Stopping at the fridge, he riffled through it. "Beer?"

"Sure." Jensen nodded and took the drink when Jason held it out. "Although I shouldn't have too many. Jared doesn't want me driving around when drunk. Plus, with the all the graduation parties it might just compound the problem."

"I think Adi would kill me if I let any of you leave the house late tonight." Jason popped open his beer and took a long pull. It was a local brand with some colorful label over a dark brown glass bottle. "She made up the guest bedroom and put an air mattress in her office last night, just in case."

"When are Steve and Chris supposed to get here?"

"Hmm." Jason glanced over at the microwave, taking in the time. "I got a text from Steve that said he was getting off work about an hour ago. He was supposed to swing by their place and pick up Chris and Lindsay." Jason took out his phone and thumbed through the menus until he found the text. He held his phone out for Jensen to read.

 

>  **Steve Carlson**  
>  Off work at 7. Will pick up Chris and Linds. Linds isn't feeling too hot. May need a girls night.

 

"Lindsay is still having problems?" Jensen frowned, eyes drifting away from the phone.

Jason nodded and pocked it. "From what Steve said a few days ago, her mate is getting worse. The doctors think he may become suicidal in addition to all his other . . . issues."

"Well shit." Jensen paled. While he might not be Lindsay's biggest fan, she was still his friend. He didn't want to lose her because fate, God, or some biological imperative caused her to mate with a mentally unstable man. No one deserved that. The fact that she had managed so long as well as she did spoke to how strong she was. "What's the plan? Are the doctors going to drug him even more?"

"I'm not entirely positive," Jason paused and looked at him. "I think Steve and Chris are considering moving overseas for a few years . . . an extended vacation and finding employment. I'm not sure they'd need to work though, Lindsay's well off since her parents died last year."

"Further enforced separation?" Jensen asked before taking a rather big gulp from his bottle. "Won't that just prolong things a little if he succeeds?"

"I have no idea. I'm not a doctor . . . I'd think you would know more about what is and isn't true when it comes to mating." Jason raised a pointed eyebrow and took another long drink.

"Right." Jensen shook his head. "You'd have to ask Jared, he knows a lot more than I do because of his work with Nimoy & Shatner." He leaned back against the counter, crossing his ankles. "I know he's mentioned a few long term separations in mates that had been together for just days followed by the death of one pair leading to the others survival. I think that was mostly soldiers. He may have mentioned one or two other cases as well of mates surviving after being together long enough to have kids, but I'm not sure I'm remembering it right."

"That's more than a lot of people know." Jason groused and practically slammed his bottle down on the counter. "Damn censors."

It was true, the Church and government had their fingers in nearly every part of American culture and education. They attempted to mold the ideology and perspective of every individual. It was mostly subtle encouragement of traditions, but with modern technology it was getting more obvious. Censoring the information that was traded internationally was the most noticeable, but then that was a typical practice worldwide.

Special permits were required for singles to travel to other countries, especially overseas or to countries that weren't right next door. Most countries were very picky about where unmated individuals were allowed to travel outside their own borders as they didn't want to lose their youth. The better educated the more rules in place. Immigration was tricky when trying to leave a country and had only gotten worse since things like the invention of computers.

On the other hand, many countries welcomed youth of certain calibers into their borders relatively easily. With the right proof of education and paper work, even if it was forged, they were let in. Mated couples had a relatively easy time traveling to approved countries, as long as their paper work was in order.

"Yep." Jensen finished off his beer and glanced at his cell phone. No new text messages had been received, but he did have a few emails he'd need to check before bed. "So, do you have any new material to share?"

"Do I ever!" Jason grinned at him. "I have two new 'completed' songs. My muse was also working over drive last week and I have a few other things in the works, but I'd rather wait until the others get here before I share anything."

"Awe, here I was hoping to get a private concert!"

Jason laughed and snagged a couple cookies from a jar on the counter. "What are you and Jared's plans now that he's joining the work force?" He asked, tossing Jensen the second cookie.

"Work. Make money." Jensen took a bite of the cookie, enjoying how soft it was, even if it wasn't his favorite kind. "Get a new place. Make more money. Break every room in—"

Jason snorted and moved to the refrigerator to get another beer.

"—the new place. Make more money . . ." Jensen straightened and pretended to think about it. "Then we'll probably mate another dozen or so times more in each room for good measure. Does that sum it up well enough for you?"

"Now is it Jared or Jared's dirty picture books that have corrupted your mind?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That wasn't all that dirty." Jensen moved over to the fridge and reached around Jason to grab a soda. "What the heck is this?"

"It's Japanese. You use the—" Jason cut himself off and sighed. "Never mind, just give it here. I'll open it."

Jensen watched as his friend quickly used a plastic tool to punch the marble stuck in the top down into the neck where it started rolling around. He shook his head as he took the drink. "They export food, television, and books . . . but vacations need to be booked two years in advance."

"We booked our fifth anniversary last year." Jason grinned. "Adi is rather excited."

"I remember."

"But, seriously, Jensen," Jason continued, "are you two making any plans about family or . . . making an alliance or whatever it's called?"

"We haven't really talked about it. Both of us have coworkers in the know, not to mention our bosses. It isn't too much of a big deal." He shrugged, tilting the bottle till the marble rolled from one side to the other. "At least not yet, anyway."

"You've been together four years and you haven't talked about what you're going to do to start making a family? Eventually people _are_ going to start questioning two singles living together. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day you'll both be in your thirties and then what?"

Jensen made a face. "If things continue as they are . . . cruises. At least for Jared, probably." He shuddered. "His Mama is already talking about him going on those damn things."

"Might be worth it to look into alternatives if it's getting that bad," Jason paused. "Don't you want kids, anyway?"

"Maybe one day." Jensen shrugged. "As I said, we haven't talked about it much."

"I don't believe that." Jason raised an eyebrow and pointed at him. "You had to have, even as unenthusiastic as you were about finding your mate before you met Jared."

Biting his lip, Jensen considered his answer. "I guess I have thought about it . . . we just haven't talked much at all. There's been so much other stuff going on in our lives."

"And?"

"There are a lot of orphans out there." Jensen met his friends gaze and smiled a little, shrugging. "I figure if we ever have the option it might be nice to give a kid who lost everyone a new family."

"You are so _noble_."

"Shut up."


	2. Chapter 2

[ ](http://s557.photobucket.com/albums/ss13/bumerbmw1/big%20bang/?action=view&current=secretstoldsecretskeptnoteverything4copy.jpg)

  
**Jared**   


 

Walking into the office on his first day of work as a full time employee—rather than just an intern—was a lot less amazing than it seemed like it should have been. Nothing about it really felt different than normal. Sure, Jensen had woken him up early with a congratulatory blow job (two hours early, actually, as blow jobs tended to make him sleepy), but other than being moved to a different, better built cubicle that was, luckily enough, near a window, not much had changed. At least, not on the surface.

Jared was still technically learning as he’d chosen a type of internal apprenticeship that would enable him to move up the ladder quicker within the company. Or that was what he’d been told, anyway. It would also, technically, give him more to put on his resume if he ever decided to leave Nimoy & Shatner.

He had just been in his seat long enough to organize his desk and boot his computer up when Elisabeth appeared in the doorway to his cubicle. She was smiling, her long blonde hair neatly pinned up and skirt and jacket iron and pressed. There wasn’t a strand single strand of hair on the black fabric, which amazed Jared as he knew she and Danneel had two fluffy white lap dogs and a long haired cat.

“Hey, Jared.”

Her grin was infectious; he couldn’t help but smile back. “What did I do to earn such a lovely woman visiting me in my office on my first day?”

“Such a flatterer.” She blushed a little, and slipped a few steps inside. “Congratulations on graduating . . . did you get the card?”

“The card you and Dani sent around for practically the entire company to sign?” he asked and nodded at her sheepish grin. “Yep, I got the card. It was really nice.”

“Good!” She waved towards the break room with her free hand; there was a leather planner in the other. “There’s a cake, too. I did put a sign on it stating that no one should touch it till you’ve had a slice though.”

“Awesome!” Jared leaned back in his chair. “Jensen was telling me to cut back on the caffeine. A sugar high should work just as well to get me from break to lunch, right?”

Elisabeth laughed and rolled her eyes. “You better not get me in trouble with him.” She paused and licked her lips. “Anyway, I have some clients coming in at ten for a meeting. There’s a councilor coming in as well.”

Jared blinked, head tilting interestedly. “Do you need any help?”

“There are some domestic issues going on within an alliance that we need to sort out.” She nodded and flipped open her planner to snag a small notepad. There was already script written out across it.

“Domestic issues?” Jared asked, unsure about what the real issue was. ‘Domestic issues’ could mean a number of different things, some really bad and others as simple as two pairs arguing over where their shared children should go to school.

“It’s an alliance that is having difficulties due to the economy. The tensions are centered around their jobs and kids. I’m not exactly sure about how close the relationship is between them, but from what legal sent me it’s rather tense at the moment.”

“They didn’t want the lawyers around for this meeting?” Jared frowned, taking the notepad from her and looking it over.

“They’ve worked with us since day one. The mediator we’re getting was approved by both pairs as an unbiased advisor.” She sighed and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Neither pair want to get the lawyers involved full time as they believe we can settle this without them, and so do I.”

“Is this the first time they’ve had these problems?”

“Not at all,” she paused for a second, her fingers drumming on the top of his cubicle, “but it is the first that’s gone on this long and has required more than one meeting to come to an agreement. The problem this time lies in the fact they can’t agree on relocation due to each individual having job offers in different cities.”

“And because of the kids you can’t arrange for new alliance.” Jared sighed as he finished reading. “There has got to be a better way to deal with this sort of thing.”

‘The only way it could work out better is if there was no need for alliances in the first place,” Elisabeth sighed and shook her head, “outside of providing a means for both couples to have children.”

Jared nodded and stared down at the paper again. There was a reason he avoided talking about the future with Jensen. He couldn’t imagine becoming involved in an alliance and he knew Jensen wouldn’t want to either. Even if they both wanted children, there was no way for them to legally adopt or use a surrogate—not without an alliance to use as cover. It just wasn’t done for singles to have children. Society had laws against it, and in the eyes of the law it was impossible for two members of the same-sex to be mates.

“So,” Elisabeth broke the silence, a grin spreading across her face, “you want to sit in?”

Pulling himself away from his thoughts, he smiled back at her. “Of course!”

 

  
**Jared**   


 

The two pairs involved in the alliance weren’t exactly what Jared had been expecting. At first glance, even with all the tension heavy in the room, they seemed to be very comfortable with each other. That spoke well of the relationship they had maintained over the years.

“Good morning.” Elisabeth smiled as she motioned them in. “Thank you for coming in to work this out today. I’m Elisabeth Harnois and this is Jared Padalecki, we’re with the public relations side of things.” Jared reached out and shook their hands as they made their way to the seats. The meeting was in a small conference room with a long, but not incredibly wide, table at the center. “We’ll be presenting you with a few options that Nimoy & Shatner homes may work for you and afterwards we’ll hopefully come to an agreement and start working out all the little kinks.” She took her own seat after everyone else, smiling and making eye contact with each person in turn. “And I believe you already know Michaela Conlin,” she motioned to the mediator.

“Shamar Moore.” One of the men, a dark skinned man smiled at them and shifted in his seat. His mate introduced himself as Thomas Gibson.

“Paget Brewster and my mate, Kirsten Vagness.” The darker haired woman introduced herself along with her partner.

Jared nodded and turned his attention to Michaela as she began to speak. “Just to clarify our reason for being here,” she started as she arranged a few folders on the table, “currently Shemar and Kirsten are allied while Paget and Thomas are also allied. Each supposed pair has one child. Ella, age seven, is genetically Shemar and Kirsten’s, while David, age nine, is Thomas and Pagets.” She placed a picture of both children on the table in full view of everyone in the room. Both children were adorable, especially Ella with her dark, curly hair, dimpled cheeks, and wide smile. Placing the pictures there, Jared knew, was to serve as a reminder of the reasons they needed to come to an agreement.

“Four months ago Shemar, Thomas, and Paget were all laid off from the company that they worked at together after said company went bankrupt and was absorbed by a competing company,” she paused for a moment. “Currently you are all living in San Fransico, however, both pairs want to relocate due to job offers in different locations. Thomas has an excellent job offer with the Patinkin Corporation in Seattle and Paget has an equally good offer in Miami with Manegna Laboratories.”

Thomas and Paget glanced at each other and then looked away. He shifted in his seat, leaning towards Shemar, while she pursed her lips tightly. Kirstin reached over and took her hand, sharing a look with Shemar.

“Now,” Michaela continued, “According to the contract both pairs signed when the alliance began and renewed with the decision ten years ago to bring children into the picture, all employment must be within an hour and a half commute and both homes must be within three blocks of each other—preferably with connected yards.” She laid the piece of paper she’d been looking over as she spoke onto the table and looked up at them. “All of you have reviewed the contract again and understand what it entails, correct?”

They nodded and Kirsten snorted inelegantly, leaning back in her chair. “This would be so much easier if we could just stop the charade.”

“Not really,” Shemar countered, smiling sadly at her. “Besides, what about Ella and David? They would still end up separated.”

“According to the contract if you were to split up the alliance,” Elisabeth’s eyes drifted down to her notes, “Ella would go with Shemar and Thomas, while David would go with Paget and Kirsten.” Before anyone could speak, she continued, “Now that is an option. The alliance could be dissolved and the children could go with their respective parents. Due to the nature of you alliance we could also arrange visitations several times a year. You would, however, need to be very careful in keeping your current life separate from the life you will begin in your new homes. You would also need to form at least one new alliance in order to keep custody of your children.”

“I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that isn’t the option we want.” Thomas was deceptively calm as he leaned over the table. Jared couldn’t blame him that was a horrible option. Not only would they lose one of their children, but the kids would lose half of their parents.

“We just need to come to a compromise—”

“It’s difficult to compromise when everyone wants to move clear across the country rather than try and find new jobs here . . . even if they aren’t the jobs you might want.” Kirsten interrupted her own mate. Paget looked away, a light flush crawling over her pale skin.

“Not everyone is lucky enough to still have their job or find work that would remotely cover the bills.” Shemar pointed out. “The job market is just bad right now around here.”

“There are other options. That was just the _first_ on the table,” Michaela interrupted the line of conversation before it could devolve further. “I know in the past that all of you have resisted working with Nimoy  & Shatner employment resources, but considering the alternatives at the moment . . .” She placed several folders in front of them. “. . . I’ve compiled a list of various jobs that the company or those we work with are prepared to offer each of you in several different cities across the states.”

“Tom.” Shemar interrupted his mate before he could speak again, his voice full of warning. A look passed between them and the elder of the pair sighed and reached for the folder. “It isn’t ideal, but hopefully once the economy bounces back it’ll be easier for us to find something on our own.”

Jared knew they were communicating silently with emotion in a way that only mated pairs that had been together for decades could. Shemar had reached out as they spoke, his hand settling on top of his mates. It was an action that any male and female mated pair could do without hesitation, would do without even thinking about it. In them, he could see the tension that appeared and then bled away when they touched, as if they were ready to spring apart at any moment. It hurt to know that he and Jensen probably acted nearly the same way.

Just knowing how these two pairs had to live their lives with two faces—a private one that came out only behind closed doors, and a public one—hurt. He was reminded of just how bad the tension was getting between him and Jensen when they were out in public together . . . that was probably why they had been avoiding hanging out alone together outside of the house more and more.

As the discussion turned to comparing the different jobs and what moving to each city would involve for each of them, Jared flipped open a notepad and began to jot a few things down. Maybe, if done right, there was a way for the truth to be revealed to the world without giving people the option of disbelief.

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

“Congratulations Jensen.” Jeffrey Dean Morgan was smiling at him over a mug of coffee when he entered the small kitchen break room between patients. It was already halfway through the morning and he was ready to go home. Jensen hadn’t gotten near enough sleep as he usually needed and it was taking a toll on him. Plus there was the fact that his last patient had been extremely difficult and complained practically the entire time. That hadn’t helped his day improve at all.

Jensen raised an eyebrow at him and made his way to the refrigerator. “Congratulations?” he asked, confused about what Jeff was referring to.

“I think you hit the top percentile in the state for the apprenticeship exam.” Jeffrey set his coffee down on the table and lifted the envelope that had been next to a few patient files on the table.

Jensen let the fridge door drift shut and walked over to take the envelope. It was still sealed, but as his master-tutor Jeffrey would have access to his grades anyway. He stared down at the white envelope with the symbol of his apprentice-school emblazoned on the top left corner. “I did well then?”

“Damn well, kid.” Jeffrey picked up his mug and took another long gulp from it. “I’m real glad you ended up with Jared. If you hadn’t I wouldn’t have the best student I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks.” Jensen wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He could feel his skin heat up with embarrassment, so he turned back to the refrigerator to retrieve his water bottle and the apple he’d packed for a mid-morning pick up snack. He had about ten minutes before his next appointment would be ready for him. He was only certified for doing certain aspects of the job solo—the rest of the time he worked under Jeffrey or one of the other therapists, depending on the schedule. That meant he had a lot more grunt work and a few short breaks extra to review patient files during throughout the day.

“Have you and Jared decided what you’re going to do now?”

“Do?” Jensen asked, and then took a bite of his apple.

“Well, when my parents finished college, they started looking to build a life,” Jeffrey shifted uncomfortably, opening up one of the files.

Ah. Jensen realized what he was trying to get at. “Well, Jared and I aren’t really thinking about starting a family quite yet.” He winced and picked at the skin of his apple around the bite. “The whole alliance situation doesn’t really appeal to us.”

“Hmm.” Jeffrey took a swig of coffee.

“What?”

“I heard what Mrs. Peterson was going on about earlier.” Jeffrey chuckled, glancing over at him. “You’re doing a good job with her by the way.”

“She’s just a bit nosy.” Jensen grimaced and took another bite. During the entire hour he’d spent with her, helping her do various exercise to stretch muscles that she clearly didn’t use enough as she’d grown reliant on an electric chair, she’d chatted at him and tried to find out every detail of his life. It was bad enough it was difficult to get her motivated to walk when she knew how much easier it was to sit and drive without the constant stream of questions.

“She’s sadly not the worst you’ll run into.” He shook his head and grinned. “It’s one of the reasons my parents looked into the alliances. Going into a job where you interact with clients and patients who aren’t in the know is very difficult. You end up lying more than misdirecting.”

Jensen nodded; he’d heard all this before. It was something that he had actually discussed with Danneel. She’d been complaining to him about the logistics of having kids lately—which both she and Elisabeth wanted—and how she wished there was some way of doing it without an alliance. While Elisabeth was interested enough that she’d asked Jensen and Jared if they might be interested, Danneel was against the idea.

While there were people that had children without being mated, often singles that were providing surrogacy before they found their own mates, it was rare. He knew now, though, that there were some youth or even older that ended up conceiving while experimenting. It was almost unheard of to see these people, however, as they were sequestered away from the world—and often lost custody of their children to more eligible mated family members or the state foster care system permanently or until they found their mate.

Glancing at his watch he sighed. “I better get going.”

“Remember you’re shadowing Cameron this afternoon.” Jeffrey closed the folder he was reviewing. “He’s working on a knee injury you need more experience with.”

“Yep, I already worked it out with him.” Jensen tossed his apple core in the trash. “Are you going to be able to talk tomorrow?” he asked. Jeffrey had a dentist appointment to deal with a couple teeth that had been giving him trouble since a bar fight when he was younger.

Jeffrey winced and smirked at his student. “Well if I can’t, that’s what I have you following me around to do.”

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

>  **Jared Padalecki**  
>  Dinner at . . . ?

> **Jensen Ackles**  
>  Chris, Lindsay, and Steve’s place. Having a Jam session tonight for feedback on new songs.

> **Jared Padalecki** to **Steve Carlson**  
>  Pizza or BBQ? Beer? :o

> **Steve Carlson**  
>  Pizza and wings. Bring Beer. Meeting at 7 pm.

 

“Hey, man.” Chris grinned as he let them into the house. “We’re set up in the garage. Looks like you brought the good stuff.”

“Of course!” Jensen grinned back and glanced at his mate. Jared was carrying three of the six packs.

“How is Lindsay doing?” Jared asked, pitching his voice low.

Chris sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was longer than usual and Jensen wondered if that was on purpose or if he’d just been putting off getting a haircut. The only time the Chris or Steve seemed at all stress free lately was when they were playing music.

The house they rented was good sized and they could only afford it due to Lindsay. In addition to having inherited half of her families wealth when her parents died, she also got a stipend from the government due to her mates mental illness. Most of it went towards medical expenses—for both of them—but she received enough to pay part of her bills. Before she had inherited a small fortune she’d received even more. Most of the time her medical stipend wasn’t accessed, but lately she’d been having to use more and more of it as her mate deteriorated further.

“She’s not doing too hot. Right now she’s upstairs with Adrianne,” he paused and took two of the six packs from Jared before turning away from them, heading towards the kitchen. “I think she’s getting her cleaned up. I never thought I’d see a time when Lindsay would be less than immaculate that didn’t involve her naked and in a bed.”

Jensen choked a little at the mental image. He knew that Chris and Steve had welcomed Lindsay into all aspects of their life—something he didn’t think most mated pairs would ever consider—but he wasn’t used to the stark way Chris referenced their relationship. “So, I take it Jason’s here already?”

“Jason, Kendall and his mate _Maria_.” Chris made a small, almost disgusted noise.

Jared frowned, sharing a puzzled look with Jensen. “When did he mate?”

“About three weeks ago,” Chris sent them a wry grin over his shoulder. “While you two were busy with work and school. They met at the grocery store of all places.”

“Wow,” Jared grinned and Jensen knew he was genuinely happy for their friend. “I’m guessing she isn’t exactly his usual crowd then?” Music, tattoos, and bikes were Kendall’s life. Both of his arms had complete sleeves and he was in the middle of having a large tattoo colored in on his back.

“Not so much,” Chris barked out a laugh, loud and boisterous. It seemed out of place considering the situation they’d been talking about just a minute ago. “She is a school teacher. She teaches English and History at a private school to ten year olds.”

“I reiterate my _wow_.” Jared paused a few feet from the door.

“I agree,” Jensen was utterly surprised. He hoped that this Maria understood the importance of music to Kendall and wouldn’t make him change who he was. While his own experience with being mated to Jared was a good one—they were both considerate of each other’s life goals and plans—not everyone was so lucky. “Is this her first time hearing him play?”

“With the band, yeah.” Chris nodded and winced. “They spent almost a week locked up in her house in the throes. After that they had to deal with family and all the official crap you and I got to skip out on.” He grinned wryly at them.

Jensen wasn’t sure he was actually happy about being able avoid all that ‘crap’. It felt like he missed out on something important that most people got to do. For all the talk on the subject that they’d done, they hadn’t ever gotten around to discussing the down sides of being mated to other men. Sure, they’d talked about the public displays of affection portion, but not really anything else. Chris and Steve tended to avoid discussing the subject, looking instead at all the positives and ignoring the negatives whenever possible.

“Does she know?” Jensen asked, reaching out to take Jared’s hand, twining their fingers together. This house was one of their safe places; somewhere they could go and be themselves. He—they he realized as he touched Jared over their bond—didn’t want to lose that.

Chris winced again and shook his head apologetically. “Not so much. Kendall wants us to tell her . . . but he isn’t sure how she’ll react to the idea. Apparently her family rivals Jared’s mom with their devotion to the Church and the rules The Word sets down regarding mating.”

Jared rolled his eyes and chuckled, squeezing Jensen’s fingers gently. “My Mama is pretty bad. Are you sure Maria is just as bad?”

“You’ll just have to see for yourself.” Chris shrugged and pushed the door open.

Jensen pulled Jared against his side, their body pressed tightly together from hip to shoulder for a brief moment before dropping his mates hand and following his friend into the garage.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

They were good, really good, if Jared was any judge of music. Of course, he wasn’t really, but he did take a history of music and culture class to fulfill a humanities credit. Not that one class made him an expert on _anything_. The music was rather loud, but he did manage a short conversation with Maria when the band would take short breaks to fix something or between songs.

He wasn’t very impressed with her, she really did remind him of his mother; she asked him a lot of questions about his involvement with the Church and about what he was doing to find his mate. After a few songs of sitting next to her and the stilted chatter—Jensen was filling in for another missing band member—he offered to go wait in the living room for the pizza guy to get there.

He was just settling on the couch in front of the long picture window, cell phone out to check his email, when Adrianne came down the stairs, Lindsay in tow. They both smiled at him, although both grins were rather strained.

“Hey, Jared.” Adrianne said crossing over to him. Her curly blond hair was up in a ponytail with just a few strands framing her face. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good,” he said, putting on a smile as his eyes slid over to Lindsay.

It had to be tough for her. The strain of her mating bond was visible. She looked horrible, to be blunt. She was starkly pale and there were bruises under her eyes that were deep and dark. She was wearing a bit of makeup, but nowhere near as much as she usually did. Her hair was down, straight and the ends were scraggly, something Jared had never seen on her before. Her smile wavered a bit as she tried to force it wider. It certainly didn’t reach her eyes.

“Hey Lindsay.” He stood up and hugged her. She froze in response, body tensing before awkwardly patting his back.

“Jared. It’s . . . nice . . . to see you.”

“You two coming down to listen to the set list?” Jared asked. “They’re planning on playing all the way through the main songs for their next show after dinner.”

Adrianne nodded. “Well, dinner at the very least. Probably pizza as well. When is it getting here, anyway?”

Jared glanced towards the television to check the time. There was a clock on the ancient VCR that Chris favored. It was one of the few things he never gave in about when Lindsay asked them to move in with her. “In about five minutes if the time table the website said is correct.”

It was quiet for a few minutes until Jared cleared his throat. “How are you and Jason doing?”

“Good.” Adrianne sat down on the couch next to him, pulling Lindsay down on her other side. “We’ve actually been talking about maybe starting a family.”

“So soon?” Jared asked and then grimaced. They’d been together almost five years, there was nothing _soon_ about it for them.

She ignored the comment shrugged. “It took my Mom six years to get pregnant with me.” Adrianne bit her lip and clenched her fingers around her knees. “We’d rather start sooner than later, just in case.”

“It’s a smart idea.” Lindsay chuckled wryly. “I wish I had thought of that.

Adrianne and Jared’s eyes met for a second before they looked away. Jared focused on a painting on the other side of the room. Lindsay had painted it about a year ago, before things started to get really bad for her mate.

There was an awkward silence for a couple long minutes that no one wanted to break. Finally the sound of a car pulling up to the curb and a car door slamming shut was heard. Jared stood up quickly, pulling out his wallet to retrieve a few dollars for the tip.

“Need any help?” Adrianne asked, jumping up behind him. Her hands smoothed awkwardly over her thighs as she followed him to the door.

“Probably.” He nodded. They had ordered four different pizzas, plus bread sticks, buffalo wings, and soda. It was actually less than they usually got, but Maria had brought a veggie tray and some other snack foods—chips, cookies, muffins—in order to ‘be a good guest’. It was only right that they eat most of them as well.

The doorbell rang and he opened it to see a teenager dressed in a Pizza Hut uniform, pizzas and assorted other boxes in hand. “Are you . . .” the kid paused to look at the end of one of the boxes, “Steve?”

“I’m Steve’s proxy for the night. He’s in the garage,” Jared said pointing over his shoulder. “Should I go get him?”

The kid blinked and looked down at the receipt. “Can you sign his name?”

“I can,” Lindsay spoke up, pushing past Jared and Adrianne. She’d pulled her hair up into a messy bun, but it really didn’t look any better than before. “I’m Steve’s mate.” Legally she was, according to certain documents put together by Nimoy & Shatner. In cases like hers, the government just looked the other way when people were listed as having two mates. Unless it came up in a court case, they ignored it.

“Oh.” The kid handed a small clip board to her so she could sign it. “Sign there.” As she filled it out, he handed Jared and Adrianne the food. They moved around her the best they could as Lindsay was ignoring their presence, her whole attention on the receipt.

When she finally handed the clipboard back to him, she snagged the box of wings from Adrianne before walking away, heading towards the garage. Something seemed off with her, more so than just a few minutes ago.

The kid looked after her, a funny expression on his face before he grabbed the bags he’d been carrying their food in.

“Uh, here’s a tip,” Jared said quickly, tearing his eyes away from Lindsay’s disappearing form. He was starting to really worry about her.

The kid brightened at that and took the cash. “Thanks man!”

Jared shut the door, balancing two of the pizzas and a bag of breadsticks awkwardly for a few second. Adrianne sighed and shrugged at him.

“She has mood swings,” she said as they followed the other woman. “I think it depends on how her mate is doing.”

Jared nodded and then furrowed his brow as a spike of emotion hit him from Jensen. Shock, worry, a bit of fear, anger—it was turning mostly into anger. At the same moment Adrianne’s head snapped towards the garage and she froze mid step.

“What the—” Jared broke off and fumbled with the food as he rushed towards the garage. Adrianne hurried after him, stopping for a split second to set the food she was carrying down.

Jensen didn’t get upset easily and when he did he was more likely to just shut down and walk away. Only once had Jared ever seen his mate get mad enough to stalk off and cool down away after an argument with one of his buddies. Taking everything into consideration, he thought he probably had a good idea of who was behind the torrent of emotions flowing across the bond.

He was right.

Inside the pseudo studio things were tense. Jensen was pale and his fingers were clenched around his guitar’s neck. Wishing he could go to his mate, Jared settled for placing the food on a table near the door.

“—some kind of joke?!” Maria’s eyes were narrowed and she was actually glaring at her mate. “How can you hang out with these—these _perverts!_ ” She spat out the last word and Jared couldn’t help but wonder if she was actually frothing at the mouth. It was probably a good thing she was facing away from him.

“They aren’t perverts!” Kendall replied, almost shouting. He was practically flailing and Jared wondered what emotions he was sharing with Maria. She had to know that he believed them about their status as pairs . . . unless maybe he really _didn’t_ believe them and had been lying about it for all these years. That seemed doubtful though.

“What’s going on?” he ventured, meeting his mate’s eyes as he slowly moved towards them.

“They aren’t lying!” Jason growled, red faced with anger.

“Lindsay kissed Chris, which upset Maria,” Jensen murmured as Jared reached him.

“We aren’t lying,” Steve said as he put his own guitar down. “It would be a lot easier if we were, but sorry, we aren’t.”

“And then somehow she outed them and us,” Jensen continued.

Figuring there was really no point in hiding now, Jared reached up and pried his mate’s hand off his guitar, slotting their fingers together. Maria didn’t even notice, she was too intent on the other people in the room. Jared tried to reassure his mate, helping him calm down through their bond.

“No.” Steve shrugged. “Why would you? I’m just some guy your mate’s known for years.”

Jared cleared his throat, squeezing Jensen’s hand as everyone turned to look at him. “We’re telling the truth. And I, for one, work for a highly respected PR firm and have been through all the pre-requisite bond tests as part of my yearly physical to make sure that Jensen and my physical health as a bonded pair is within the average or above average range.”

“It was above average,” Jensen spoke up, jaw clenched. Amusement filtered over their bond, however. “Just in case you were wondering.”

“ _As it is impossible for the bonds of mating to be broken, it is also impossible for those of the same sex—_ ”

“ _—to be joined together for all eternity. Those who claim otherwise are blasphemers_ . . . yadda yadda yadda,” Chris finished for Maria.

“I could quote another half dozen instructions handed down by God via The Word that you’re breaking just by standing there with that holier than thou look on your face.” Lindsay pointed her finger up and down Maria’s body.

“Lindsay—” Adrianne stepped forward only to have her friend wheel around to face her.

“And what the fuck do you think you’re looking at?!” In the dim fluorescent lights tears were starting to streak down Lindsay’s face. “You’re—you’re so God damned lucky! This pity parade you’ve got going for me is just idiotic. I don’t need your pity! Fuck your pity! I don’t need anything from you! Any of you!”

Steve’s cell phone rang as Lindsay was yelling and Jared saw him pull it out and flip it open out of the corner of his eye. The musician froze and tossed Chris the phone before moving towards Lindsay slowly.

“We don’t pity you,” Adrianne had her hands out, fingers wide apart in a placating gesture. “We just want to be there for you. We know that things are tough right now—”

“You’re all crazy!” Maria exclaimed her voice incredulous but quiet. She turned to her mate and pursed her lips. “I want to leave. Now.”

“—how could you?!” Lindsay’s voice was rising steadily and her hands were clenching and unclenching wildly. “How could you know what it feels like to—” she paused and turned to Maria, “—and for the record _I’m_ not crazy! That fucking honor was reserved for my _God given mate!_ And look where the fucking honor of being his mate got me! I can’t even manage to live well with two amazing men who love me even though we’re not mated. They found room in their hearts to let me intrude on _their_ bond. That you find fault in that disgusts _me!_ ”

She strode closer to Maria as Steve reached her, he followed and wrapped his arms around her middle, pinning her arms to her body. “And if you insist one more time that they aren’t mates I will come after you _so help me God_ —”

“Lindsay,” Steve said her name, repeating it in her ear as she struggled against him.

“—and don’t doubt that I will! I have nothing left to lose.” A sob broke free of her lips, interrupting her tirade. She relaxed against Steve and allowed him to turn her in his arms. “They don’t deserve to have some bigot telling them what is true and what isn’t. You don’t Steve. Neither do the Jays.” Her hands clenched in the back of his shirt and she buried her face into his chest.

“You should go.” Adrianne stated, meeting Kendall’s eyes. He nodded and grabbed his mate’s hand, pulling her after him out of the garage.

“It’s okay, Lindsay.” Steve held her tightly against him and Chris was there a second later after tossing the cell phone to Jason.

Chris was pale, face expressionless. Reaching out to Lindsay, he lifted her chin up and framed her face between his hands. Her eyes were shinning with tears as she stared up at him. He closed his eyes and kissed her lips and then her forehead.

“We can clean up.” Jason said, already moving the Chris’ guitar. “You guys can head up stairs if you need. We’ll lock up when we’re done.”

“Take most of the food.” Steve said as he pulled back a bit from Lindsay. Chris took her hands and started leading her out the door. “We won’t be able to eat all of it on our own right now.”

Adrianne nodded and opened the door, pausing to look out into the rest of the house. “They’re gone.”

“Thanks,” Chris murmured as he passed her, most of his attention still focused on the woman he was leading.

Steve smiled sadly at them and then followed. As soon as they were gone, Jared turned towards Jason, knowing he had some idea of what was going on.

“What happened?” Jensen asked, his fingers gripping Jared’s tightly. Dread filled him along with a myriad of other emotions.

“Lindsay’s mate attempted suicide.”

“Just attempted?” Adrianne asked, voice shaking.

Jared paled, but relaxed minutely. He could feel Jensen relax beside him as well. Attempted didn’t mean succeeded . . . and it didn’t mean that Lindsay was a ‘dead man walking’.

“Attempted,” Jensen stated, eyes boring into Jason’s, “that means it wasn’t successful.”

Jason shook his head and smiled sadly. “It wasn’t. At least not yet.”

“What do you think they’re going to do now?” Jared asked. Suicide prone individuals couldn’t be locked up forever. Just attempting that—or drugging them into a coma indefinitely—often translated over to the healthy mate. That was something Lindsay had told them a couple years ago, along with quite a few other facts about her situation.

“I think . . .” Adrianne bit her lip as Jason reached her and snagged her hand, tangling their fingers together and pulling her into his side. “She told me that the doctors were trying to convince her to sign up for some experimental treatment the military is providing for people in situations like hers. She’s been refusing to consider it . . . and it wasn’t quite bad enough for her to get bumped to the top of the list, anyway, at least not until . . . not until now.”

“Experimental treatment.” Jared murmured, looking towards the door. Something told him that even an experimental treatment couldn’t be worse than this.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

The drive home was a quiet one, the silence filled with the sound of traffic around them and background noise from the radio. The emotions coursing between them were dark in mood—somber. About halfway home, Jared reached over and set his hand over Jensen’s on the stick shift.

“You think she’ll be all right?” Jared asked a little while later; just as they were pulling onto the street their apartment building was on.

Jensen glanced at him before flipping on the turn signal and pulling to the parking lot. “I think Lindsay has a good support network and two men that care deeply for her. I’m not sure what else anyone could do for her, barring an act of God to break her bond with,” He paused, searching for the right name. Everyone avoided naming her mate like it was the great plague in the scriptures, “Kevin.”

“Yeah . . . you think that treatment Adrianne mentioned will work?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen sighed as he removed the keys from the ignition. He settled back in the driver’s seat and turned to Jared. “I do know there’s really nothing we can do about it . . . besides pray.”

“Right.” Jared nodded and climbed out of the truck, carefully balancing the pizza and breadsticks he’d snagged. As they headed to their apartment, he fell in step with Jensen, bumping their shoulders against each other. If it was any other day . . . and if things had gone differently, he’d be suggesting they head straight to the bedroom. As it was, he wasn’t sure he could manage to get it up. The day’s events were too stark and too jumbled in his mind. “I’m not really sure I want pizza for dinner. Do we have anything else in the fridge?”

Jensen frowned thoughtfully as they reached their door and searched his key chain for the right key. “I think there is some left over Chinese and some frozen fish.”

Grimacing, Jared made a face as they entered their home. Neither of those really sounded appetizing at the moment either.

“I could make some spaghetti?” Jensen suggested as he locked the door behind them. “I think we have everything I need to make it, plus there might be some frozen meat balls and sauce still in the freezer. I don’t think I used them all last week.”

Now that actually did sound appealing. If there was one thing that Jensen made better than anyone else he knew, it was spaghetti. He made the sauce fresh and then froze it to be used over a couple weeks. Jensen said it was mother’s recipe, but Jared had spaghetti at their house last time they visited and Jensen’s was just so much better than hers. He might be a bit biased, though.

“Sounds good.” Jared nodded and started putting away the pizza, sticking the slices into some zip lock bags to keep it fresher. He eyed the curtains and blinds that blocked the view of the courtyard as he worked.

The building they were in was a nice one. They’d moved in a year earlier, escaping the apartments associated with the university in favor of something quieter. Their complex was in a nice neighborhood and their bedroom windows didn’t directly face a street or another apartment. It made things a lot easier and meant they didn’t have to always have their blinds drawn shut in their bedroom. Not that they left the windows open a lot, but it was nice to be able to open them so a breeze could filter in without the blinds making a lot of noise.

Jensen was gathering everything he’d need, and Jared had to wait for a moment to put the pizza away while Jensen got the sauce and meat out of the freezer. He paused for a minute after putting it away and watched his mate work.

“Jensen?” he asked after a few minutes.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to call my parents.” Jared leaned against the wall and let his gaze follow his mate’s movements as he started the process of thawing the sauce. “I promised my Mama I’d call her tonight if I got home early enough.” Which was something he had originally _not_ planned on actually doing that night.

“Okay,” Jensen paused, setting the spoon down on a plate. He crossed the room and looked up at his mate, studying him. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against Jared’s lightly before pulling back. “I love you.”

Jared’s lips quirked and he leaned in for another kiss. “I love you, too.

Jensen stepped back and waved him away, turning back towards the stove. “Now go call your Mama. I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.”

Jared grabbed Jensen’s coat from where he’d laid it on the dinner table and took off his own. He hung them up in the closet before heading to their bedroom. He flopped back on the bed and groaned before flipping open his phone and dialing his parents’ home phone number.

“Hello, Padalecki residence,” his father answered. Jared could hear a game playing in the background.

“Hey, Dad.” Jared let his eyes drift shut and allowed himself to relax a little. He was glad it was his Dad that picked up and not his mother.

“Jared . . .” his Dad’s voice was a tad suspicious, “what’s wrong?”

Jared could hear his Mama’s exclamation before the hushed, excited question of, “did he mate?” drifted over the line in the background. She always seemed to ask that when he called. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Nothing is wrong. Not with me, anyway.”

“With Jensen?” his Dad asked quickly.

“No,” he sighed, “one of our friends mate’s is mentally ill and apparently suicidal. He tried to take their lives tonight while we were at her place.”

There was a moment of silence on the line before his Dad spoke again. “You were there when he . . .”

“At her place, yeah.” Jared nodded, eyes opening to stare at the ceiling. It was textured and there were sparkles mixed into place. He talked to Jensen about maybe sanding it down and painting it if the land lord let them just yesterday. “But he’s back east at an institution.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure how he . . . but one minute she was relatively calm, just a bit out of it—but then she’s been having a rough time recently—and the next she was hysterical and screaming at everyone in the room.” He shuddered, fingers clenching around the phone. A wave of love and comfort spread out inside him from the place that was Jensen.

“Poor girl,” Gerald said softly, genuinely sad for her.

Being mated to a mentally unstable individual was supposedly rare, but like everything else Jared had found out was real and existing right under their noses, it was something that not many people talked about. It just wasn’t discussed in polite society outside of the families impacted by the issue.

“Yeah.” Jared sad up, shifting on the bed so he could take off his boots. “So . . . how are you and Mama doing?”

“We’re doing all right,” his Dad said, voice brightening a little. “I’ve been thinking about buying a new car. Your Mama wants to get an SUV, though, apparently she plans on being a soccer Grandma.”

“We do want grandkids,” Gerald corrected him, “but considering how quickly your brother is working on that one, you have a bit of time before I start pestering you about that. Although you may want to hide from your Mam when she gets started on the issues once Jeff’s kids start being able to talk back.”

“I’m actually hoping she’ll start focusing on their future rather than thinking about mine.” Jared grinned and leaned back again. “Is that wrong?” It was nice to be able to talk to his Dad, knowing that he didn’t have to be watching every word he said and that when he did carefully phrase things, his Dad was able to pick out the truth of the matter.

“Nah, it’s perfectly natural I think. Having you kids got her off my back, after all.” Gerald chuckled. “I’m just glad Jeff had his first kid before Megan left the house.”

Jensen laughed, allowing himself to be sucked into his own families issue and out of Lindsay’s. This conversation was something he’d desperately needed and, if his mood transferred over to Jensen enough, maybe, just maybe, they’d both be in the mood tonight after all.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

Staring down at the folder in front of him, Jared swallowed hard. It had taken him a while to compile all the detail—including going through old documentation from the last, abandoned, attempt at mass coming out—but he had done it. Now all he needed to do was present it to his superiors and convince them that the idea still had merit. He knew it would be a really tough sale.

Jensen had been skeptical when he first brought it up, but his mate had listened and provided much needed feedback. Next was the tough part . . . convincing someone he worked with to get on board with the idea. If he could get someone else involved—especially someone higher up—then it would be much easier to not only convince his bosses, but to actually get an appointment with them as well.

Stopping in front of Elisabeth’s office, he knocked solidly on the open door. She glanced up at him and smiled from her desk.

“Hey, you,” she said, placing down the highlighter she’d been using. “Need some advice?”

“Sort of,” he crossed into the room, moving to her desk. “I was wondering if you could read this over and . . . if you’re interested . . . maybe help me implement this project?”

“A project?” Elisabeth picked up the folder and flipped I open, scanning the first page quickly. “Jared. The logistics of a reveal . . . I don’t know if—”

“Please?” he asked, interrupting her. “Please just read through the entire thing before you shoot it down. I really think this is doable, and more than that I think it _needs_ to be done.”

She pursed her lips, eyes dropping back down to the page. After a moment she sighed and nodded. “All right. I’ll look it over, but it may take a few days.”

“That’s fine,” Jared grinned. “We’ve got time.”


	3. Chapter 3

[ ](http://s557.photobucket.com/albums/ss13/bumerbmw1/big%20bang/?action=view&current=secretstoldsecretskeptnoteverything.jpg)

 

  
**Jared ******  


**  
**

> ****Elisabeth Harnois** to **Jared Padalecki**  
>  Jensen totally sicked Danneel on me. All of you have me convinced. I’m in. Let’s get planning.**

 **  
**

 

Time seemed to pass quickly now that it wasn’t divided into semesters and changing schedules. The monotony of a set daily schedule that rarely changed seemed to ease it along. Before Jared knew it several months had passed.

It had been a difficult few months, though, as quickly as they disappeared into the past tense. Steve and Chris had accompanied Lindsay to wherever it was the military was doing their ‘experimental treatment’ and they weren’t supposed to be back for . . . well Jared wasn’t exactly sure how long they’d be gone.

While Lindsay’s mate had calmed some, his mental illness had started seeping through the edges of their bond, causing her ever increasing mental distress that was just horrible to watch. His physical health had also deteriorated, the pills he was taking hadn’t been helping him at all and when they upped the doses to try and calm his suicidal urges the side effects had been bad.

With work seeming to become ever increasingly busy and an even smaller number of friends to drag them outside of the house, their evenings had become increasingly tame and domestic. At least there was a bit more time for them to actually mate, but that was really the only plus side to their busy schedules and lack of outside of the home entertainment.

Leaning forward, Jared braced one arm above Jensen’s head and pressed forward as he captured Jensen’s lips with his own. His mate moaned into his mouth as he adjusted their positioning slightly, his hand manipulating one of Jensen’s legs. The move was just enough to have him brushing over the spot that sent sparks of pleasure through Jensen and across their bond.

One of Jensen’s arms slid up from his shoulder’s to tangle in his hair while the other slid to grasp a hold of Jared’s buttocks, pulling him in as he shifted his hips enough that Jared was now pressing even more into that perfect spot.

Jensen’s head tilted back, pulling his mouth away from Jared’s as he hissed in pleasure. Just moments later Jared felt him come and the pleasure of it had him following shortly, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself into his mate.

He settled down after a minute, relaxing on top of Jensen, his dick slipping out as Jensen adjusted his legs again. He moved so his lower body was off to the side slightly, only one leg resting between Jensen’s. They kissed again, slower and not as deep, but still overflowing with love and passion.

“Sleepy?” Jensen asked as Jared rolled further off to the side. He pushed himself up the bed so that he was leaning against the elbow.

Jared ‘hmm’ed, thinking about it, and then shook his head. “Not really.” He glanced down Jensen’s body, causing the other man to snort.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen again for a little while.”

“Getting old, are we?” Jared teased and then rolled over, reaching towards the end table to grab the television remote.

“Yes, I’m a ripe old twenty six years.” Jensen rolled his eyes, amusement bubbling between them.

“Well,” Jared grinned at him as he switched on the television, “you certainly are _ripe_.”

“Hey!” Jensen slugged his shoulder lightly. “You’re one to talk!”

The last channel they had been watching, Jared had been watching, actually, was the news. When the screen came on the television was displaying a discussion about the possible candidates for the next presidential election.

Jared tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. “I remember that guy.” He pointed at the screen when an image of a senator was being shown. “I organized a file on him a couple years ago. I think his files and information were being transferred to the New York office.”

“He’s part of a same-sex pair?” Jensen asked as he pulled Jared to his side, forcing him to settle back against the pillows.

“Complete with an alliance and two kids.” Jared sighed and frowned sadly, fingers tangling with Jensen’s. “He hasn’t replied to the reveal proposition yet. I guess that makes sense if he wants to run for president. He must not want to ruin his chances.”

Jensen untangled one of his hands from Jared’s and reached up. Tilting Jared’s face towards him, he captured his mate’s lips for a quick kiss. “How are things going with that? I know you said it’d been rough lately.”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded, trying to stop the frustration and hurt from showing. He failed though as there was no real way to hide his feelings from Jensen. “Elisabeth was startled at first about the whole thing . . . but I think Danneel was the one that managed to convince her to go for it. Now she’s practically obsessed with it. I think Danneel might be regretting getting her involved in my ‘little’ project.” He sighed and turned his gaze back to the television. “We actually have a few celebrities and politicians on board . . . not to mention a lot of people from all walks of live across the country. “He snagged Jensen’s hand again and squeezed it. “The lower down you go on the visibility scale, and incidentally the pay scale, the more people are on board with it.”

“That’s . . . really not all that surprising,” Jensen pointed out, squeezing back. “People up top generally have more to lose if people dislike something about them or their life.”

“It also gets more complicated when there are kids involved,” Jared murmured, but he turned to meet Jensen’s gaze.

Jensen sighed; he knew they’d have to talk about this seriously eventually. Considering how quickly things were going with the planning stages, things were looking up. Then again, the last attempt at mass coming out had fallen apart in mere minutes.

“I guess we should talk about kids?”

“Do you want them?” Jared asked, after a few seconds.

“Yes.” Jensen said honestly, not even needing to think about it.

“Oh,” Jared paused and pulled away so he could face him, “I do, too. I just . . . I don’t want an alliance.”

“Neither do I,” Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad they were on the same page at least in that regard. “I don’t want to share our son or daughter with another pair. I could understand making an agreement for surrogacy and sperm donation in turn, but I don’t want to have to deal with them day in and day out.”

“Me either,” Jared grinned, shaking his head. “I could tell you some stories, but there are confidentiality agreements to most of them that I’d rather not break.

Both of them had been forced into signing confidentiality agreements with Nimoy & Shatner and the practice Jensen worked at. While it was rare, sometimes information other than just emotions transferred across a bond. That only tended to happen in dire situations, but it couldn’t be completely discounted. There was actually a very small portion of the population that could communicate that way at all times. Companies and businesses liked to cover all their bases, but even then the mate employed with them had rules placed on what information they could and couldn’t voluntarily share with their mate.

“You know,” Jared stated, his smile growing wider, “it should be a lot easier to deal with surrogacy and having children as a same-sex pair after the reveal.”

“Is this your way of asking if I completely, one hundred percent, support this extremely crazy plan of yours?”

“Maybe,” Jared’s smile dropped and Jensen rolled his eyes, chuckling.

“Yes, Jare.” He leaned in and rested his forehead against Jared’s. “You know I’ll always have your back. No matter what idiotic plan you come up with . . . I’ll always be there to back you up.”

“Thanks.” Jared leaned in and kissed him, slowly and deeply, pushing all his love towards his mate, feeling it returned in kind.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

Groaning, he leaned his head down on his desk after having finally hung up. The last call had lasted a good two and a half hours and it had taken all his energy to argue their point persuasively enough to gain the support of the politician on the other hand. IN all likelihood the same politician and her mate would end up backing out at the last minute—or more likely just a few hours from then—but it was still a good victory.

Things were slowly getting tenser and tenser as more and more people were brought in to work on the project. What had started out as Jared’s pet project had been handed off to Elisabeth and, surprisingly, Michaela to run. Just two weeks ago Elisabeth had been called to the main office to speak with the current CEOs, Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto, who had taken over when Nimoy and Shatner retired several years ago.

She had gone in with all of their ideas formatted into a power point, along with several other medias, including graphs printed on poster board, and come out somehow managing to convince the pair to join the cause and to fully support it within the company and the community it supported.

Since then their resourced had grown tenfold and the time table had been bumped up. In one way it was a good thing, but on the other hand it was eating away at all his time. He was having flash backs to the weeks before his college graduation when he and Jensen were practically celibate. Most days he just collapsed into bed and slept straight until his alarm went off.

“You look tired. Or maybe dead . . . whichever’s worse in this case.” Danneel’s teasing voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Shouldn’t you be persuading the rich and powerful to risk their wealth on your little endeavor?”

“Danneel! What are you doing here?” he asked, a smile stretching across his lips as he turned to look at her.

“Me?” Well, I did come to find my elusive mate,” she shrugged, “but apparently she’s in a meeting and I’ll need to come back a little later.”

“Sorry.” Jared smiled apologetically.

“Oh, don’t bother apologizing.” Danneel grinned, waving him off. “The way I see it if this thing pans out I won’t have to deal with a man or two crowding in to our relationship and sharing any kids we have. Plus I’ll be able to hold her hand in public and perhaps even—God forbid—kiss her on the lips when I drop her off in the morning!” She giggled and leaned back against the wall of his cubicle. “I can do without sex and cuddles for a few extra nights a week,” she winked at him, “even if I’d rather not.”

He groaned again, this time for completely different reasons. “I know what you mean! I think Jensen is about ready to look for another mate.”

“Nah, he wouldn’t do that,” she teased, laughing again. “He’s completely taken with you. Not to mention the fact that he’s going to be just as happy as I am—and for practically the same reasons.”

“Really,” Jared raised an eyebrow at her, “and you know this how?”

“We do talk. He called me about an hour ago, even.” She smiled and lifted up the hand she’d been keeping just out of his line of sight. There was a bag of Chinese take-out in her hand. “And he asked me to bring you this.”

“Oh, God, I love that man!”

“If anyone had any doubts about that, I think the whole office knows better now.” Her comment caused him to flush with embarrassment. He really hadn’t meant to say that so loud. But he was hungry, _extremely_ hungry. “Here,” she said, stepping forward to hand him the food. “You better enjoy that.”

“I will.” He opened the bag and stared down at the contents. It was his favorite meal. Jensen knew him so well. Grinning, he looked up at her. “So, did you just bring me some or did you bring some for Elisabeth as well?”

“I’m planning on taking her out to eat, if she’ll let me.” Danneel sighed. “She’s skipped lunch the past few days and her hunger pains are really starting to get to me.

Ared raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He’d never heard of that sort of transfer of pain across a bond before.

“Okay, okay, that’s a lie. She’s really not _that_ hungry.” She waved him off. “I would like to be able to spend at least half an hour alone with her that doesn’t involve sleeping for once, though. I really miss talking with her and being able to see her face. Her lovely eyes, especially. Emails, phone calls, and texting just isn’t the same.”

“I know what you mean.” Jared winced, feeling rather guilty.

She glanced back over her shoulder. “Any idea when they’ll be done in there?”

“Nope, not really,” Jared shook his head and then glanced at the clock. “It should be soon, though. They’ve been in there longer than I was on the phone and that call lasted almost three hours.”

“Ouch.” Danneel shuddered and wrinkled her nose. “I hate phone calls that run that long. I really prefer to meet with people face to face for anything over fifteen minutes.”

“Do you get away with that?”

“Nope,” she shook her head sadly, “unfortunately most of the people I work with are too busy to get into our office in any efficient amount of time. Most of the time I end up having conference calls . . . which can be rather entertaining when they turn into shouting matches.”

Jared winced. “What do you do then?”

“I dial Michaela or one of her colleagues and bring them into the call. Usually she solves the issue or makes them shut up long enough to actually make an appointment with her. That gets them away from me and stops them from taking up my precious time with their domestic arguments.”

“I thought you mostly dealt with public issues.” Jared frowned and set the bag of Chinese aside. He’d hang out in the break room to eat in a few minutes, just to get away from his desk. “People slipping up?”

“The fighting is usually between alliances . . . which means four people screaming at each other about a problem I’m not always sure I have the true story about over the speaker phone or ear. It really isn’t pretty.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I think I’m going to go deaf at a young age.”

“I know, right?” Danneel laughed. She was a huge music fan. He and Jensen had introduced her and Elisabeth to Steve and Chris by taking them to one of Kane’s shows. She’d fallen completely in love with their sound and not only owned one of all their cds, as well as a DVD of one of their concerts, but she also went to any concert in the region she could get to. She’d been rather upset when they cancelled their shows for the next six months, but she had understood why they were on hiatus.

“Well,” Danneel tapped her gingers against the cubicle wall and pushed away from it, “you enjoy your food. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sometime next year?” Jared joked and then winced.

“Try two days from now,” her eyes narrowed and she pointed one perfectly manicured finger at him, “or else.”

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

“Hey Jensen,” Jeffrey greeted him as he entered the break room during lunch. “Cameron told me you did an excellent job with little Sarah this morning.”

“Thanks,” Jensen said as he stirred some sugar into his coffee. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night as Jared had been tossing and turning. He’d even tried giving his mate a back massage, but even that hadn’t really allowed Jared to relax much. “She’s a sweet little girl.”

The seven year old had fallen on the ice while skating and broken her arm. The break had been rather bad and had required more physical therapy than usual. The little girl had needed three surgeries before the bone had been set correctly and allowed to fully heal.

“You and Jared have any special plans coming up?” Jeffrey asked as he grabbed his own lunch from the refrigerator.

“Not really,” Jensen said and then continued after a moment with a sigh, “Jared has been working on this big plan on how to get everything about . . . you know . . . out in the open. A big reveal or coming out for the whole community.”

“I heard,” Jeffrey said after a moment as he examined the food his wife had packed for him. “it should be interesting if they pull it off.”

Jensen glanced up at him. “Are you worried?” Truth was, even though he fully supported his mate, Jensen was worried and a bit terrified of what could happen once everyone found out the truth.

“Am I _worried?_ ” Jeffrey raised an eyebrow. After a few seconds he shrugged and laughed. “Of course I’m worried! A big portion of my business comes from those Nimoy & Shatner tend to call ‘conventional’ pairings and a lot of my workers are connected to same-sex pairs in one way or another. If things go wrong I’m poised to lose a lot of business if those working for me out themselves.”

“And if it goes well?”

Jeffrey sighed and set his sandwich down on a paper towel. “I could still lose a lot of business. Not everyone is going to be overjoyed about an overturn of their believe system. I’m fully expecting there to be a lot of negative or mixed reactions.”

“Me, too.” Jensen looked down at his drink. “I’m worried about Jared. He pretty much started this whole thing. I don’t want someone to take it out on him—us.”

“It’s a risk,” Jeffrey agreed, “but then life itself is a risk.” He waved his hand at the folders that sat next to both of them. “Just take a look at all these injuries. You can’t just not take risks, that isn’t living life.” He smiled and reached over to tap the table in front of Jensen. “I’m proud of you and him for standing up . . . if you do. That’s something my parents didn’t do—either set of them. Instead they lived a lie till their last day.”

“I thought you were a big supporter of the lifestyle,” Jensen frowned, furrowing his brow. While Jeffrey hadn’t been anywhere close to as bad as Jared’s Mama, he had been rather inquisitive about Jared and Jensen’s plans for the future, pushing for them to decide something regarding their options to create a family.

“I’m a supporter of people being alive and happy,” Jeffrey corrected, “I never liked the way living under constant pressure ate away at my parents. Their relationships with each other weren’t always good, even if they were close friends. It never really felt . . . right.” He sighed, shaking his head. “If I could turn back time I wouldn’t, but only because I loved all four of them and the time we spent together. I can’t imagine only having to parents, but at the same time I know it was extremely hard for them.”

He was quiet for a long moment as he picked at his food. “Did you know my father’s never even told their families?” Jeffrey chuckled mirthlessly at the thought. “Their own families had no idea they had mated to each other. I felt so sorry for them and the funeral. God it was the most awkward thing in the world. I mean, how do you explain to someone why their brother’s supposed mate is still alive, but her best friends mate is dead along with her own.”

“How do they?”

“They don’t, usually.” He shook his head. “My mother’s moved thanks to Nimoy & Shatner and started over. I had to pretend for two years that they were dead before Mama Irene was in an accident that took her life and subsequently Joyce’s. I hated it.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jeffrey leaned forward, catching his gaze. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke clearly, keeping eye contact. “Don’t be. If your mate and his friends pull this off then it’ll save a lot of people from ever having to deal with what I did. I can stand to lose a few customers if that’s what comes out of it.

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

The day of the reveal came faster than he was expecting it to—or, at least, that’s how it felt to Jensen. Originally Jared had the day off, something planned by Elisabeth, and Jeffrey had insisted that Jensen take the day off as well. Most people seemed to be expecting the news to cause riots or a ‘witch’ hunt of sorts. Many people who had pledged their support had decided to take the day off to spend with their family, just in case.

The timing had, of course, been agreed upon ahead of time. In order to be fair to all time zones in the country, they had decided on three p.m. central time, which also meant the stock market would already be closed prior to the announcement. There was a hope that the period of time from the announcement to the opening bell would be long enough to calm the worst of the nonsensical freak outs any investors might have.

The news didn’t break through just one media outlet. It had been decided quite early on that focusing all their intention on just one was a recipe for disaster. Instead a variety of people scheduled interviews, posted blogs, and went on news programs. Many people were even planning on outing themselves on LifeCircles or pod casts.

Jensen and Jared had settled on watching the news, choosing to ignore their computers entirely for the evening. The particular program they were watching had a Senator on it—surprisingly the one that had been testing the waters for a Presidential nomination—had called a press conference to discuss a ‘person issue’. The news casters were speculating whether he was going to officially announce, or renounce, his desire to run for office. And maybe he would run, but that wasn’t what this was going to be about.

“Hmm,” Jensen licked his lips and turned, putting his legs up onto the couch, his feet ending up in Jared’s lap. “Should I cook something up for an early dinner, or would beer and popcorn be a better bet?”

Jared made a face. “Beer and something _substantial_. No offence, but if things go bad and we end up drinking the whole case I don’t want popcorn in my stomach.” He shoved Jensen’s feet off his lap.

“Right.” Jensen laughed, he stood and grabbed their dishes from brunch and glanced down at this mate. “Do you know what he’s going to say?”

“Not really.” Jared shook his head. Nodding, Jensen headed to the kitchen. “I mean the firm did council him and we worked with his speech writers . . . but he wanted it to be his own.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” he said as he set the dishes down and turned to the refrigerator, considering what they had to eat.

“Are you implying our speech writer’s suck?” Jared asked, teasingly.

“Oh, I’m sure their great . . . just probably not as experienced as whoever that guy hired.”

“I sort of got the picture he didn’t _hire_ anyway.” Jared called, turning down the television.

Frowning, Jensen grabbed several plastic bags filled with vegetables from one of the drawers. “He wrote it himself?”

“I think so.”

“Huh.” Jensen stood up and let the fridge door close itself, pressing lightly against it with his shoulder to seal it shut. “Well, if he’s any good maybe it’ll resonate better with people coming straight from him.”

“Resonate?” Jared asked and Jensen turned to find his mate leaning against the wall near the entry to the kitchen.

“You know what I mean.” Jensen set the vegetables on counter and snagged a pan from the dry rack. “The general public will probably respond better to something that comes from the heart, rather than a speech chocked full of intellectual commentary.”

Jared laughed, but nodded. Flipping the remote in his hand, he licked his lips. “Do you want to watch the Senators speech on this channel or a different station?”

“Eh,” Jensen shrugged as he turned on the burner. It really didn’t matter what they watched—outside how each channel would deal with the obvious political bent the announcement would take. “I don’t really care. They all have their own bias.”

“True.” Jared wrinkled his nose and Jensen could feel the disgust. It was pretty much impossible to get unbiased second hand information these days. Each news station had their own biases when it came to political and religious ideology, and it was often very obvious in their stories. “So we should or shouldn’t watch the one that’s in throes with the Church?”

“You make them sound like a mated pair.” Jensen snickered, pausing mid chop.

“It wishes.” Jared turned towards the living room and messed with the remote. Jensen could hear the station change over. “I wonder how they’ll react,” his mate asked, looking over his shoulder.”

“It should be rather entertaining, at least.”

“I bet Adrianne the next three volumes of her favorite manga that it’d drop off the air as soon as he made his first reference to being part of a same-sex pair.” It never ceased to amaze him how out of everyone in the world, both he and his best friends had mated with people that had so much in common.

Jensen made a small noise as he dropped the onion into the pan. He still didn’t quite understand his mate’s slight obsession with manga and anime; it was one of the few things they didn’t share. Well, that and the fact that Jared couldn’t carry a tune to save his life. Instead, he sat back and watched the occasional anime marathon and Jared watched or listened to the wide variety of music he enjoyed.

 

  
**Jared**   


 

By the time three o’clock rolled around the stir fry was finished and they were sitting side by side, their body touching from knee to hip and shoulder. Jared’s elbow brushed Jensen’s on occasion, jostling his mate, and Jensen jostling him in return. He didn’t care though; he enjoyed being so close to Jensen. They had rarely enjoyed a meal together in the last few weeks—especially not one at home and so early in the day.

Surprisingly, when the Senator began speaking, the news channel didn’t cut him off. The commenters, however, did start exclaiming over every little thing he was saying—one even went so far as to wonder aloud if it was some sort of joke. The station didn’t bother turning off their microphones, instead choosing to just lower the volume of the senator, adding subtitles so that he could be understood.

And then more news began trickling in, appearing on the ticker at the bottom of the screen. Actors, actresses, singers, and dozens of other people from all walks of life were announcing the same exact thing: that they were a part of a same-sex mated pair.

Their fingers tangled together at some point, both of them abandoning their meal in favor of watching the world shift before their eyes. Only moments after the senator was done speaking, his cell phone rang, buzzing with the tone he’d set for his work.

Jared snagged it from the counter with his free hand as Jensen took his plate. “Hello?” he asked, only a little startled.

“Hey, Jared.” Elisabeth sounded tired and sheepish on the other end of the line. “I know I said you could have the day off . . . but I was wondering if you could come in for a few hours? We could really, really use you. There’s a lot more going on than we had anticipated—we need more people on the phones.”

“Oh, uh,” Jared glanced at Jensen who just raised an eyebrow. He held the phone against his shirt and smiled apologetically. “They’re swamped and want to know if I can come in for a few hours.”

Jensen sighed and Jared could feel a touch of disappointment. “Yeah . . . but only a few hours . . . that means you leave work no later than eight o’clock or I will drive down there and _drag_ you out.”

“I promise.” Jared smiled, amazed again at how wonderful his mate had been about the hours he’d been working. “Yeah, I can come in. But, Jensen said I have to leave by eight or I may end up sleeping on the couch for a month.”

“I doubt he’d make you sleep on the couch,” Elisabeth giggled and he grinned, glad he could brighten her mood a little. “If your sex life is anything like Danneel’s and mine he wouldn’t last a day.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Jared replied, chuckling a little himself. At this point she was probably right. He hung up and stood, walking over to Jensen. He pulled his mate to him and kissed him.

“Drive safe and be careful,” Jensen quirked a grin at him, “and don’t let some ass take issue with you because of . . .” He waved his hand towards the television.

“I won’t,” he promised and leaned in again for another kiss. This one was full and deep; their tongues tangled together, tasting and caressing. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to forget about walking out that door, but he couldn’t. He had work to do . . . in just a few hours he’d be home and they could pick up their plans for the evening where they’d left off—hopefully, anyway.

 

At work Jared ended up fielding call after call from the time he walked in the door until he just before eight when he somehow managed to finish a call. The whole time was there he never saw hide nor hair of Elisabeth, presumably she was just as busy if not more so.

It wasn’t until just after seven that the tech guys managed to get an automated response system implemented that anyone calling in would have to go through before speaking to a real person. At least that helped a little to weed out clients from people just calling in to rant and threaten the company. Someone had apparently let drop the fact that Nimoy & Shatner had organized everything.

For all that it was actually the shortest day he’d worked since becoming a full time employee, in many ways it felt like the longest.

The drive home was quick and when he reached the door to their condo, Jared was pleasantly surprised to smell food cooking. Normally when one of them cooked a meal, the other cooked the next. He knew Jensen was stressed though, so he really shouldn’t have been so surprised. His mate liked to keep busy when he wasn’t sure how to deal with something.

“Check your phone!” Jensen called out from the kitchen as Jared set his keys on the bookshelf by the door. He had left his phone on the table on accident, not that he’d really had any time to use it. “Your Mom called me wondering why you weren’t answering your phone.”

Snagging it off the table, he flipped it open and looked at the screen. Either he had good timing or his Mama did. It was ringing, but the sound had been muted at some point. Jensen had probably got tired of her constant calls.

“Hey Mama,” Jared greeted her as he walked into the kitchen to give his mate a kiss. Jensen swatted at him with a wooden spatula. Jared raised an eyebrow at the fact Jensen was once again cooking stir fry. At least part of it was probably reheated from earlier.

“Jared!” His mother sounded a bit surprised he'd answered. She continued on and he could detect a hint of hysteria in her voice. “Have you heard this utter nonsense all over the news and . . . everywhere?!”

“Nonsense?” Jared asked, cringing.

“All this blasphemy about same-sex couples! It's just ridiculous! And—and I heard that company you work for is associated with it!”

“Mama—”

“And when I asked your father what he thought he told me to talk to you. I can't believe that you would have anything to do with—”

“Mama!”

“What?” she finally paused at his shout, startled.

“Mama . . . it's,” he stopped as he tried to figure out how to put it in the best possible way. Eventually he just decided to go with being straight forward about it. “Mama, I mated.”

“Oh my—Oh, Jared!” Her tone immediately changed and she seemed to forget about everything she'd just been worried rambling about. “When you wouldn't answer the phone I didn't—Oh! I don't want to hold you up! I'll get the paper work started and sorted so you won't have to worry about it. What's her name—”

“Mama,” he interrupted her again, eyes meeting Jensen's. He smiled and as he continued he could feel a weight lift off his shoulders. “I took care of it already. “

“What do you mean? When did this happen . . . you haven't been keeping this from me, have you? Is that why you haven't called since—”

“Yes.” He sighed and switched the phone to his other ear. “Well, no. Sort of. I was busy with work, but I didn't tell you because I couldn't.”

“Why—”

“Because of how you'd react. Considering how you just did, I wasn't far off in my assumptions,” he spoke quickly, trying to get it all out before she could interrupt him, “I mated my freshman year of college, Mama. On my second day in the dorms. It's why I never called you back then.”

“But, who—”

“Jensen. Jensen's my mate.”

The line was quiet and Jared could almost picture her standing with the phone, slack jawed. Several long, silent moments passed.

“Impossible.” Her voice sounded dry and came out almost in a croak.

“Not at all.” He shook his head. Jensen turned off the burner and walked over to him. He wrapped an arm around Jared’s waist and leaned against him. Smiling a little despite everything, Jared covered Jensen’s arm with his own. “It isn't impossible at all. For some reason everyone's been told to believe it is though.”

“The Word says—”

“I know what it says, Mama.” he grit his teeth. “And I know you don't want to think about The Word being wrong. But, Mama, it was written by man. Whether it was divinely inspired or not . . . inspired implies that the writers had the ability and chance to add what they wanted to it. And considering the culture and the historical evidence that suggests mating wasn't always as prevalent as it is today . . . don't you think parts of The Word could have been culturally significant to the people of the time?”

“ _No_ ,” her voice was vehement. “No. The Word was given to us by God and its word is truth.”

“Don't you like shell fish?” he asked, voice gaining an edge of anger. He hadn't wanted to have this discussion with her while he was angry, but he doubted he'd be able to calm down before it was over.

“That is different!”

“How so? Because it doesn't have to do with mating? Because you like the taste of lobster and shrimp.”

“Don't you talk to me like this!”

“Fine.” Jared said, knowing he wouldn't be able to continue anyway. “Go ask Dad whether or not I'm telling the truth. See what he says and call me back when you aren't going to _second guess my mating story_.”

He barely stopped himself from throwing his phone across the room. The only thing that did was Jensen reaching up and taking it from him. He closed his eyes and relaxed against his mate. His heart was beating quickly in his chest despite the comfort and love his mate was filling him with.

“Are you going to be able to eat?” Jensen asked his voice quiet and slightly muffled against Jared’s shirt.

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and turned into his mate's embrace, burrowing his face into the crook of Jensen's neck. “In a bit. I think I need to calm down a little first.”

A question and a few emotions, suggestions, filtered across the bond. “No. No sex . . . I definitely not in the mood for it, even if it could calm me down.”

“I figured.” Jensen was quiet for a moment, thinking. “How about we go crawl in bed and watch a movie?”

“What about dinner?” Jared drew back a little.

Jensen shrugged. “I'll put it in a container and stuff it in the fridge. We can nuke it later.”  
Jared smiled a little. “All right.”

“Head in then,” Jensen nodded towards their bedroom. “I'll follow in just a few.”


	4. Chapter 4

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**Jensen**   


 

Two days after the reveal was the weekend and, considering how much overtime they’d both put in recently, they both had Saturday and Sunday off—something they were very thankful for. Every communication medium had exploded with comments, discussions, rants, and first hand testimonials and, due to the sheer immense numbers, most people didn’t doubt. There were, however, a small group trying to claim that the darkness had corrupted the masses and if people believed them, then they would forever lose their place in paradise.

Even with everything going on, they’d stuck with their usual routine since the outing; work and even meeting up with Jason and Adrianne. Sandy, too, who had even come over for a few hours, a visit which had started with her slugging Jared in the arm before hugging him after guessing the truth of their relationship. The rest of the time they’d stayed home, just watching TV or fielding calls from old college friends.

Legally things were taking a lot more time to work out. The government was trying to deal with the prospect of having to change dozens, if not hundreds, of laws to enable same-sex couples to have the same rights as the heterosexual mated pairs had. And already there were people trying to disrupt the process. It was difficult and taxing. At least they weren’t denying it anymore . . . not after the military had stood up and made an announcement of their own. One that supported the existance of same-sex pairs and included exact statistics of how many there were serving their country.

The other day Danneel had to practically drag Elisabeth out of the office as she hadn't been home since the night before the reveal. She just wasn't willing to let go of her control over the project, even though it had already been handed off to people better suited to deal with the new reality and issues that were cropping up.

On Saturday morning, Jensen got up and decided it was time to go out and get groceries. Saturday was the day one of them usually went anyway. It was his turn—if they were keeping track and he kind of was -- so he took a shower, got dressed, grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone and headed out the door. Before he was even halfway to his car, the sound of footfalls and the knowledge that Jared was following him caused him to stop.

"Everything all right?" Jensen asked his mate, frowning. It hadn't felt like anything was wrong or off.

Jared grinned sheepishly and ducked his head a little. "I thought I could come along? We haven't been out in public together since the news broke . . . I sort of wanted to—maybe—see what it’s like? Being out in public together. Not as friends, but as mates?"

"Oh." Jensen blinked and bit his lip. "I—yeah.” He slowly smiled, thinking about it. “That sounds . . . that sounds good." It was odd how something that was normally so routine was inherently changed in such a short period of time. He adjusted his grip on the keys and tossed them to his mate.

Jared caught them in the air and looked down at them. "What—”

"You're driving." Jensen pointed at him before turning and heading to the car. "I drive the highway daily and you don't. Thus, on my day off, you get to drive."

"That's so not fair."

Jensen smirked over his shoulder. "I'll make it up to you when we get home?"

Jared paused for only a split second before running after him, pleasure and excitement rolling off him. "Oh, well then, you got yourself a deal!"

 

The grocery store wasn’t very crowded, considering it was the weekend. While Jared grabbed a cart, Jensen snagged a store add to peruse the sales. He sighed as he looked over things, a few of the items he wanted to pick up weren’t on sale anymore.

“Where to first?” Jared asked him, pausing next to him. He’d managed to find a rather quiet cart; Jensen hadn’t heard the usual squeak of unoiled wheels.

Jensen glanced up at him, and smiled a little. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d gone grocery shopping together outside of a quick beer run. “We should probably hit the canned food first before going for the fresh and cold items.”

“Ravioli?” Jared asked, face brightening.

He narrowed his eyes. The other man would just eat several cans of the microwavable ravioli dinner if Jensen let him.

“The frozen stuff if we have to, but I still say the stuff in the can tastes just as good if not better.” Jared pouted at him, giving him the puppy eyes that were so hard to ignore.

“Technically this is my turn to buy groceries.” Jensen pointed out, pointing at him with the ad.

“And technically we don’t need to worry about turns anymore,” Jared said, grinning widely at him his dimples appearing.

He couldn’t help but smile back and sighed, before nodding. “Fine.”

“Thank you!” Jared beamed, reaching out towards Jensen he froze for a moment and they stared at each other, wide eyed.

Swallowing, Jensen reached out and took his mates hand and squeezed it gently. He let go of it after a few seconds and they fell into step as they made their way through the store.

A few customers stopped and stared at them and Jensen really couldn’t blame them. They were being a bit more physical then they usually were in public—standing close enough for arms to brush, fingers lingering when they handed off packages—and it had to be startling for the average person. It was startling enough for _them_.

“Ignore them,” Jared told him, voice low.

Jensen looked at him, realizing just how close they were standing. “It’s hard to.”

Jared shrugged and smiled at him before dipping down and kissing him chastely. Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen saw another customer gasp and turn away. “Who cares?”

“Right.” Jensen nodded and turned, leading the way towards the next item they needed.

 

Jared

 

Checking out was a new experience for them as well and it was rather awkward. The clerk was watching them with wide eyed stealthy looks the entire time and stuttered through his usual commentary, only saying what he had to. The teen bagging their groceries, on the other hand, paused when he was almost done. He looked as if he wanted to ask a question, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

Jared put on his friendliest smile and tilted his head towards the kid. “What?”

“Uh,” the teen paused, face reddening, “is it true? Are you two . . .” he trailed off, embarrassed to be asking the question.

“Are we mates?” Jared finished the question for him.

The kid nodded and ducked his head, turning his focus back to shoving their canned food items into sacks.

“We are,” Jensen answered his voice steady and bright. “We mated a little over five years ago.” He turned to Jared and nodded.

Blinking, he realized what his mate was doing and smiled wider. “My second day in the dorms this guy shows up to be my roommate and I’ve been stuck with him ever since. We barely left the room for a week.” Jared reached out and snagged Jensen’s hand, pulling him closer. A light blush spread over Jensen’s cheeks and he tensed for a second before relaxing.

“How did you know that you were really mates?” The clerk asked, finally speaking up.

"How does anyone know they've mated?" Jensen tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "I'm connected to him. I can feel his emotions and he can feel mine. For all that we're two people we're also one." He shrugged. "That and the fact that we ended up holed up for almost a week together was a pretty big clue."

 

The roads were busier on the way home than they had been when they left, and so was the parking lot. Even though they were faced with a few glares and many odd looks as they packed up their groceries, nothing bad had happened—no one had attacked them physically or verbally. The short excursion had put them in good spirits and Jared was really looking forward to getting home so he could take Jensen up on his early promise.

The last couple of days, even when alone, neither of them had felt much like having sex or really doing anything truly ‘romantic’. Now, however, Jared found himself suddenly in the mood again and lust was practically burning across their mating bond.

By the time they pulled into their parking spot, both of them were in a good mood. They snagged all the bags in one go—it paid to be muscular and big and to do their shopping once a week—and made their way up the sidewalk towards their condo. Half way up the walk, Jensen’s steps faltered and he froze. Jared paused next to him, eyes finding what Jared had seen.

His parents were standing outside their door. While his Dad’s face was closed off, lips pursed, he still smiled a little when he saw them. His Mama, on the other hand, looked rumpled and as if she had been crying. For a moment he felt guilty, knowing that it had to be because of him that she was upset. Then he pushed the feelings away. It wasn’t his or Jensen’s fault they were a pair. They had no say in who they mated to.

"Mama?" he said finally, wondering why they were here.

She nodded and glanced up at her mate before looking back to her son. "Jared. I—I wanted to talk to you. I hope that's all right?" She wrung her hands together nervously and then adjusted the strap of her purse.

"You drove—flew?" he frowned, glancing at his Dad, "all the way out here just to talk? Why didn't you call?"

Sherry looked lost and turned to look at Gerald again, eyes bright with tears as she bit her lip.

"Your mother and I thought it would be best if you two had this conversation in person." Gerald said finally, his voice was calm and he looked straight at his wife rather than at his son. It looked as if he was trying to get some point across. Eventually he turned to Jared and continued, "We thought it would be less likely for things to be misconstrued and more likely that an . . . understanding could arise."

Sharon looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she just nodded.

"Oh." Jared turned to look at Jensen, lost.

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

Jensen weighed the options and steeled himself. "How about I get these groceries inside? Gerald, you wouldn't mind helping me, would you?" He asked, glancing at the older man. "Jared could show Sharon the grounds . . . maybe walk over to the park. It isn’t that far away. Jared and I are thinking about a getting a dog and we're trying to decide if this is a good place to have one or if we should consider relocating again. We could sure use some advice."

"Sure." Gerald stepped away from the door and walked towards his son. "Looks like you two got some good shopping done. Steaks?"

"A treat, considering everything . . ." Jensen trailed off, watching as Gerald took the bags from Jared. "We should probably get everything into the fridge so it doesn't go bad."

After they finished putting the groceries away, Jensen awkwardly asked if Gerald wanted something to drink. The man looked at him for a long moment before smiling and holding out a hand.

“I'm sorry I wasn't able to welcome you to the family before.”

Jensen stared at the hand for a few seconds before reaching out with his own and grasping it. “Thank you. I—that means a lot to me. Really.”

“You're a good man and from what I see you're an excellent mate for Jared.” Gerald nodded and motioned towards the kitchen. “And I would love a drink.”

 

  
**Jared**   


 

Jared let his dad take the groceries from him. The weight was nothing to his dad, even with his bad knee. He stepped around them and unlocked the door, doing his best to avoid looking at his mother. Pushing the door open, he let his dad and Jensen move past him.

Jensen smiled at him and leaned up to steal a kiss as he moved past. Feelings of encouragement and love coursed across their bond and Jared felt uplifted by it. As if he could manage to get through the coming conversation without too much difficulty.

"Did you want to put your purse inside?" He asked his mama, glancing at her. She was watching him and had obviously seen the kiss. Her eyes were slightly wide with shock at their display of affection.

"No," she shook her head, "I think I'll keep it with me for now. Just in case."

"All right." He shut the door and locked it behind them before turning back. He licked his lips and motioned down the path with his chin. "Let's go?"

The first few minutes of the walk were quiet. It wasn't until they were within sight of the park that his Mama finally spoke up. "I'm sorry, Jared."

"It's all right,” he replied automatically.

"No. No it isn't." She took a deep breath and stopped on the side walk, a hand reaching out to press lightly against his bicep. "Your father told me I'm being an idiot and something else I'm not going to repeat." His lips twitched, but he suppressed the smile. "It was very inappropriate of him, but it did get the point across to me."

He stayed quiet as they continued on, letting her get out what she wanted to say. It wasn't like he didn't want to know what she thought. After their last conversation he was hurt, but he still wanted to mend their relationship somehow. He loved her—she was his mother after all.

"With everything that's been said in the news I've had to do a lot of thinking. I don't believe that The Word is wrong . . . I can't, Jared. It's not how I grew up to look at the world."

"I know, Mama." Jared said, but she plowed on before he could say anything else. He let her, he thought he probably owed her at least one free pass today on that.

"But what you said, about culture and how mating has evolved to include more and more people over the centuries?" She stopped him with a hand on his arm. "I know that's true. Even The Word mentions how God implemented it after the Great Flood to unite his people."

"What are you trying to say?" Jared asked, tilting his head and frowning a little.

"What I'm meaning to say is that there is a lot that we don't know for sure about mating and . . . and that The Word doesn’t go in depth into little thing. There are still a lot of questions that science can't even answer." She sighed and swallowed. "Not that it’ll be able to answer everything . . . but we do know that mating has changed slowly as it spread throughout the population. Our history text and even The Word clearly show that. I won't pretend to believe that this—that two men being mates is something God intended in the beginning, but I guess that doesn't mean sometimes things happen."

Jared understood the implied: _mistakes happen_. It hurt, but obviously her thoughts on the subject were still only just beginning to evolve. Hopefully she’d come around fully later.

She pursed her lips and looked away from him, out into the park. The sun was high in the sky and there were a lot of people milling about. Kids were running around and one man was playing Frisbee with a border collie. "God gave us the choice. He knew that when the first woman took a bite from the tree and saw the world through different eyes that it would inherently change. Creation was no longer perfect and over time it further mutated . . . and this is just one more mutation."

Jared didn't respond to that. He knew trying to continue that discussion would only lead to a longer argument and that wasn't something he wanted to get involved with at the moment—or at any point in time, really. While he hated her opinion and approach, it was at least a big step that she would actually admit that he and Jensen were mates. Even if she couldn’t see how the reasoning behind their relationship wasn’t wrong. "So . . . you believe me when I say that Jensen's my mate?"

She looked at him then, straight in the eyes. Her lips were pursed tight and she gave a tight, but clear, nod in response. "Yes. I—your father helped me see that you were telling the truth. You wouldn't lie to me. Not about something this big."

No. Jared wouldn't lie to her about mating or anything else so life changing. He did, however, keep it from her. Lying by omission, perhaps. "I didn't tell you though."

"No, you didn't, but I doubt I'd have believed you and . . ." she swallowed heavily before continuing, "If you had told me prior to this week I—I probably would have attempted to have you admitted for psychiatric evaluation."

Jared's eyes widened and he tensed. That was one thing he'd never really thought that she might do. He could see the possibility now and knowing it made him even gladder that she had never tried to do so. "Oh."

She looked away from him again then. "That's—two years ago one of the women at my Church sent her son to a Church Care center because he claimed the same. He—he died several months later. He and the young man he'd been claimed to have mated to. I don't know what happened but, but I—I’m ashamed to know that I probably would have insisted you go to the same place. I'm so sorry, Jared."

"You didn't, though, Mama."

"Only because you didn't tell me." She laughed and Jared could see the tears starting to trail down her face. He grabbed her arm then, gently, and led her over to a park bench to sit down. "What kind of mother does that make me when my own son can't even talk to me about . . . about his _mating_!"

"You're a good mother." Jared stated firmly. "You were always there for me growing up."

"And yet you couldn't trust me and for a damn good reason!" She snapped at him and he drew away a bit. He'd never heard her curse before. Cursing was something uncouth and a sin in her eyes.

"I didn't tell you _because_ I loved you." Jared said after a few moments. "It wasn't because I didn't trust you, Mama. It was because I didn't want to hurt you. I know how important the Church is to you. And I didn’t want to lose you."

"So you just let me continue pushing you to find a mate when you already had one?"

Jared shrugged. "It didn't take much for me to go to parties. Sure it was annoying, but I did meet a lot of interesting people and make some new friends." He smiled a little. "I even got to see Chad find Sophia at the one. You know how rare it is to see a friend or relative meet their mate. Being part of a mating story or to witness a meeting? That's precious."

“I was so disappointed when you didn't mate with her.” She laughed, wiping at the tears.

“She was rather pretty.” Jared grinned and then laughed. “She's really reined Chad in. They even have a little girl on the way.”

“I heard.” Sharon looked up at him, a smile starting to tilt the edges of her lips up.

“You know,” Jared started, “Jensen and I have been talking about adopting or hiring a surrogate when things calm down.”

Sharon blinked at him, startled. “Is that . . . how is that . . . you can do that?”

“Why now?” Jared asked, looking away towards where a group of kids were playing. “Lots of same-sex couples already have kids. Either with another pair via an alliance or acting as last resort foster parents.” He paused, trying to find the right words. “If people try to find us unfit to be parents they'll have a hard time making the case considering all the evidence to the contrary.”

“I didn't mean to imply anything.” Jared's mother reached over and wrapped her hand around his wrist, squeezing gently. “I just didn't think you'd be able to have kids since . . . since you're with Jensen. I was surprised is all.”

“You do want more grandkids,” Jared bit his lip and looked at her, “right?”

She nodded, a the smile growing wider. “I would love more grandkids.”

“Good.” He said, glancing down at his hands.

“Right now though, honey,” he looked up at her, “I really think you should take me home and introduce me to your mate. I'm sure you have a wonderful mating story to tell.”

He smiled then, wide and bright and moved to stand. “I do. It's . . . it's one of the best ever.”

She was trying. Maybe she didn’t fully believe, but she was trying. That was all he could ask for at the moment.

 

  
**Jensen**   


 

The window was open when Jensen slipped into bed. It was late in the year and a tad chilly out, but the apartment was rather stuffy from having run the heater higher than normal—they usually didn’t use it at all. He would have to get up in a little while and close it, but that didn't bother him. He shifted on the bed and wrapped an arm around his mate's waist, brushing his nose and lips against Jared's shoulder.

“Hey.”

“You took a shower.” Jared commented, rolling over.

“Yeah.” Jensen wrinkled his nose. “I couldn't get the scent of the Thai food we had for dinner off me.” They'd ended up ordering in take-out. It had been all well and good—and extremely tasty—until Jensen had spilled a container on himself. It had been extremely embarrassing, especially since Jared's parents were there and his mother had just started coming around about his status as Jared's mate.

“I thought you smelled good,” Jared teased, nipping lightly and Jensen’s neck.

“It was good . . . until it stuck with me for five hours.”

“Hmm.” Jared brushed his lips against Jensen's. “Kind of made me want to eat you.”

“Eat? As in . . .” Jensen trailed off, eyebrows quirking in a lewd manner.

“Dude,” Jared drew back and lowered his voice, “we are _not_ having sex with my parents in the next room.”

Jensen sighed and pouted. At this rate they were never going to have sex again. Whenever they set aside time—intentionally or otherwise—where they had enough free time to have sex without losing too much sleep, something came up and ruined their plans. Case in point: Jared’s parents showing up on their door step. Don’t get him wrong, he was happy that Jared’s mother was making an effort . . . he just wished that they could have chosen a different weekend.

“No. No no _no_.” Jared shook his head. “I only just got my Mama convinced that you're an okay guy and a pretty good mate . . . I don't want to scar her with the sounds of us mating so soon.”

“I can be quiet,” Jensen grinned wickedly, sliding his hand over his mate’s chest.

“Really.” Jared raised an eyebrow. “I think Kris and Chad would have something to say in response to that.”

Jensen made a face. “Are you sure that it wasn't you they were hearing?”

“Are we really going to argue about this?” Jared asked and rolled over to reach for the phone. “Because, you know, I could call them. I'm sure Adam would be thrilled if we called his mate at this time of night. They probably aren't busy at all—”

Jensen tackled him, leaning against his back. Jared laughed and rolled over, flipping himself so he was on top of Jensen and they were face to face. He leaned down and kissed him.

“You know,” Jensen pointed out, “your parents probably already think we're having sex in here, anyway. You do know that, right?”

Jared pulled back to look his mate in the eye. “I know.” He paused. “But we're still not having sex.”

“Fine,” Jensen sighed and leaned back, “if we're not having sex then you should probably get off of me. I might need to take another shower, too.”

“Because that wouldn't at all be indicative of you being,” Jared pressed his groin down against Jensen's rather than say it out loud.

“You could come with me.” Jensen shoved Jared back gently, maneuvering out from beneath his mate but staying in bed.

“Not really a good idea.” Jared groaned at the mental image.

“That's certainly one opinion.”

Jared leaned back against the pillows, a smile on his face. “Did I dream today?”

“Nope.” Jensen turned on his side to face him. “It really happened.”

Jared turned his face toward Jensen and smiled. “My Mama is here and she sat down on our couch, ate our food, and listened to our mating story.”

“She did,” Jensen nodded, smiling.

“It's just so hard to believe . . . after all these years.” Jared lifted hand and ran his fingers over Jensen's cheek. “Everyone knows . . . we aren't hiding anymore.”

“It feels good.” Jensen agreed and let his eyes drift shut, turning his cheek into Jared’s palm.

Jared moved his hand along Jensen's neck, shoulder, and then his arm until he was able to snag his hand. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed gently. “I think it's almost perfect.”

“Almost?” Jensen asked, slitting his eyes open.

“Mmm hmm.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Why almost?” he asked, tilting his head.

Jared leaned back, pulling Jensen till he sprawled out against his side, partially on his chest. “I was just thinking about that dog you mentioned . . .”

Jensen groaned. He hadn't really meant they were looking for a dog right now . . . they had discussed it, but that one discussion had been theoretical and far off in the future. It had just been the best excuse he could think of at the time.

“A lot of dogs are left in the shelter around Celebration . . . I was thinking we could give one a home for the holidays?” Jared pouted, running his hand down Jensen’s side to wrap around his cock.

Jensen gasped and moaned softly, pressing his hips forward. “Fine, but I get to name it.”

“We can talk about the details later.” Jared said, beaming at him as he slowly began to jerk him off. “I love you.”

“Hmm. Oh certainly will . . .” Jensen trailed off and leaning in he kissed Jared, reaching down Jared’s body to return the favor. “Love you, too.”

 

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